Am I Too Mean?
- Thread starter mercury
- Start date
Ahhlee
New member
I sure do, and it IS a big deal. I'm sorry you're going through it and I wish I had more answers for you.see... Ali gets me
I guess what it really comes down to is what type of kid she is. Not all of them will respond to punishment in the same manner. For example, is she the type who needs to be scared straight or is having a heart-to-heart more likely to get her to open up about why she's behaving like this?
I don't envy any of you the heartache involved in being parents. It's the most difficult job in the whole world.
I am doing my best... I take this job pretty seriously and I'm doing it mostly on my own; Chris laughed when I told him about what happened. He's such an ***.
Speaking of which... ya know what he did yesterday, for about the 300th time? Locked his keys in the car. And not just one set.... both of them, because I gave him my key when he was home last weekend and I didn't remind him to take it off the ring when he got back to Houston.
Been telling him for almost 3 years that he needed to get a magnetic case because one day it was going to happen somewhere that I couldn't run his extra set out to him, and guess what? It happened. Cost him $65 to call a tow truck out to open it for him. Too much hassle to think about anything more than what he needs right this second during one of his 500 trips to Lowe's or Home Depot each month...
It's so much easier to deal with consequences than think ahead. That's the genetic material she's got to overcome.
Speaking of which... ya know what he did yesterday, for about the 300th time? Locked his keys in the car. And not just one set.... both of them, because I gave him my key when he was home last weekend and I didn't remind him to take it off the ring when he got back to Houston.
Been telling him for almost 3 years that he needed to get a magnetic case because one day it was going to happen somewhere that I couldn't run his extra set out to him, and guess what? It happened. Cost him $65 to call a tow truck out to open it for him. Too much hassle to think about anything more than what he needs right this second during one of his 500 trips to Lowe's or Home Depot each month...
It's so much easier to deal with consequences than think ahead. That's the genetic material she's got to overcome.
Ahhlee
New member
Good Lord, are Chris and my ex-husband related? He never thought ahead and could only function in the moment. That trait along with his complete lack of impulse control brought many a disastrous results as I'm sure you can imagine.
It sucks so bad when a man treats you more like a nagging mother than a loving wife. No wonder you're *** drive is lacking lately!
the key is probably locked in Chris' vanI just said it wouldn't help.. of course, to stop worrying is always easier said than done.
Hope you find the key to get through to her merc.. it's there somewhere.
could be... they're both Me-hee-cans... and his dad left a string of male children in his wake.
Old Salt
New member
I'll throw my two-cents worth in.
I don't think you're being too hard on her. If it had just been the smearing cheese, then maybe so. But you add in the much worse (IMO) offense of lying to you and I say no.
I don't know the background on what she gets for an "allowance" (spending money). At the end of one month "house arrest", you could put her on "probation". Make her earn the money to get her cell phone back (a cell at 12YO?). And then make her pay for her cell phone service - she'll appreciate it more.
Good luck.
I don't think you're being too hard on her. If it had just been the smearing cheese, then maybe so. But you add in the much worse (IMO) offense of lying to you and I say no.
I don't know the background on what she gets for an "allowance" (spending money). At the end of one month "house arrest", you could put her on "probation". Make her earn the money to get her cell phone back (a cell at 12YO?). And then make her pay for her cell phone service - she'll appreciate it more.
Good luck.
I still don't have one.. and don't think I want one, but they are handy and I'm sure I'll buckle at some point. Plus, it's getting **** near impossible to find a pay phone anymore.
I always laugh when I see the youngens at school calling each other from down the hallway.. hahaha.. they're on those things constantly.
Oh how the times have changed..
phreakwars
New member
When I was 13, I went on a little crime spree with my friends Josh and Chris. I got busted for breaking into a couple of places, even though the actual count was much much higher. My dad's solution to the problem of delinquency along with the court costs for restitution was a very effective one... Public humiliation. He would make us carry these see through bags around town all day long, from the time we got up, till the time the sun went down. Myself and my brother Adrian were made to collect empty cans around town, and we weren't allowed to come back home until the bags were full of aluminum cans. I really couldn't tell you how much it sukked to walk all over town looking like a **** hermit carrying all those cans. I haven't stolen anything else in my life, unless you count the crushed pepper seed shakers from Pizza Hut that I steal almost every time I am there.
Hey, people steal OUR Parmesan and Pepper shakers all the time too.
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Hey, people steal OUR Parmesan and Pepper shakers all the time too.
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eddo
New member
Hi. I'm 13 years old. I steal...When I was 13, I went on a little crime spree with my friends Josh and Chris. I got busted for breaking into a couple of places, even though the actual count was much much higher. My dad's solution to the problem of delinquency along with the court costs for restitution was a very effective one... Public humiliation. He would make us carry these see through bags around town all day long, from the time we got up, till the time the sun went down. Myself and my brother Adrian were made to collect empty cans around town, and we weren't allowed to come back home until the bags were full of aluminum cans. I really couldn't tell you how much it sukked to walk all over town looking like a **** hermit carrying all those cans. I haven't stolen anything else in my life, unless you count the crushed pepper seed shakers from Pizza Hut that I steal almost every time I am there.
Should we get you a new clear bag, clepto?
RoyalOrleans
New member
If Triumph the Insult Comic Dog were here, he'd reply:
Old Salt
New member
Sorry, guess I read something into your post that wasn't there. When you wrote about talking on the phone, I ASSUMED you meant cell.LOL she doesn't have a cell phone... the phone she's grounded from is our normal house phone. I don't even have a freakin' cell phone.
She'll have a cell phone when she can pay for it herself and has the right to enter a legal contract
ImWithStupid
New member
Hey Merc, I guess your daughter always has Christmas to look forward to...
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Anna Perenna
New member
Your punishment is certainly apt, but what's missing is the guilt-trip.
Have you thought about lecturing her incessantly, brow-beating her over and over again, and telling her what a terrible human being (you are worried) she has become, and how incredibly ashamed you are of her?
My mother used guilt and shame to make my sisters and I behave. I'm not sure if it's "right" but it certainly worked.