em's pointless journal

[Emma]

im new to this site but a friend recommended i rite a journal even though my life is kinda non-exsistant
basically im bi and because of this im unhappy cuz i get teased alot at home and out of...my friends are really the only things that keep me alive, i was sexually molested when i was younger but not the extent that i cry all the time about it, it was a teacher at my skool and all he did was touch me, not a big deal really
im weird and i dress that way~another reason to be teased, im not into satan as some poeple in my shallow skool seem to think.
basically my lfe is normal, i have problems and i try to over come them, i have drifted thorugh anorexia, bulemia and self harm which i still do now and then, but i hope my life is getting better.....
(u may think im rambling but its easier to tell faceless people things cuz u cant see their reactions.)

 

[lpp]

im new to this site but a friend recommended i rite a journal even though my life is kinda non-exsistant
basically im bi and because of this im unhappy cuz i get teased alot at home and out of...my friends are really the only things that keep me alive, i was sexually molested when i was younger but not the extent that i cry all the time about it, it was a teacher at my skool and all he did was touch me, not a big deal really
im weird and i dress that way~another reason to be teased, im not into satan as some poeple in my shallow skool seem to think.
basically my lfe is normal, i have problems and i try to over come them, i have drifted thorugh anorexia, bulemia and self harm which i still do now and then, but i hope my life is getting better.....
(u may think im rambling but its easier to tell faceless people things cuz u cant see their reactions.)

wow you have been though a **** load

 

[Emma]

lol, not really, its not that bad....i just moan too much i guess, kinda bad to share secrets with total strangers but my parents are always telling me to tlk to them and i no they'll judge me so.....yeah anyway....

 

[twilightcrimson7]

****! life sucks doesnt it?
I say ignore what society thinks.

 

[woodyloveslinkin]

lifes a bitch then you die...thats what i always say.

or lifes a bitch then u marry one.

 

[Emma]

lifes a bitch then you die...thats what i always say.

or lifes a bitch then u marry one.

lol, thats a good 1

 

[Emma]

about my day~had an exam and suffice to say i sucked, i have 4 in total and i cant be arsed to care about any of them...too many exams....
my god this gurl came onto the bus today and i swear she lked like 1 of those children cartoon whitches, she even had the green hair!!!

one of the girls in skool came out that she was bi, i kept getting dirty looks like she caught the 'bi' disease from me or somethng, bunch of saddos...

i have tons of homework to do but theres really nothing to say because i was stuck in the same classroom with the same people for 6hrs....

 

[Ravynlee]

Hi Emma,
Listen, I'm probably a bit older than most ppl here at LPF, suffice to say what I'm about to tell you will sound like something your parents may tell you and for that I apologise in advance. Y'know, I never appreciated school until I was out of it (dropped out half way through year 11, forgive me, I don't know the equivalent, I'm in Australia). I was bullied, teased, had few friends, was very overweight, average grades, you name it. Point is, the older I got the more I realised all those trivialities that make up our world when we're younger don't really equate to much after school. For instance, the main guy who used to bully me at school became a mechanic... I think I have more of an education now than he does. And the most popular guy, the Footy captain, hasn't equated to much better, even for having all the girls chasing him and having all the praise of everyone else etc, and so on... it's all... well... it's hard to explain without sounding patronising, which I'm not trying to do, believe me. I was your age not all that long ago (feels a lot longer some days, let me tell you!)

Y'know, one day you will look back at all this and in some ways miss it. I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, you will. Even the cows who look weird at you now you may end up seeing in a new light once school ends and the 'Big Wide World' opens up to you. Enjoy what you have while you've got it. Having said that, I hope tomorrow's a better day for you! Chin up! Remember, when you're feeling down, there's only one direction to go...
See ya,
-Rav

 

[Emma]

that wasnt patronising at all, it was sweet, i understand wot ur saying but its kinda hard to see it like that when ur the weirdo...im not the biggest loner and i feel for the people that are...more poeple are scared of me which i dont like because im not wierd...
im hopefully leaving my school after my important exams becasue we may be moving somewhere else so i hope there i will be accepted, thanks for the advice though

 

[Ravynlee]

You're welcome!
Hope things get better for you, whether you and your family chose to move or not. Wanna hear something funny? If you class yourself a 'weirdo', if I were at school, I'd probably be one too. Two of my best friends are lesbians and the two women I live with are also bi/lesbians. (I feel I need to stipulate I however am not, but that's beside the point. Each to their own I say. Takes all kinds to make a planet!). I've been into 'alternative faiths' since I was young enough to know there was other choices to a monotheistic god. But at school, I probably would've been running away from my current self... heck, even you too! Hehehe. (sorry, lame joke, I know... it's 3am here!)

 

[Emma]

You're welcome!
Hope things get better for you, whether you and your family chose to move or not. Wanna hear something funny? If you class yourself a 'weirdo', if I were at school, I'd probably be one too. Two of my best friends are lesbians and the two women I live with are also bi/lesbians. (I feel I need to stipulate I however am not, but that's beside the point. Each to their own I say. Takes all kinds to make a planet!). I've been into 'alternative faiths' since I was young enough to know there was other choices to a monotheistic god. But at school, I probably would've been running away from my current self... heck, even you too! Hehehe. (sorry, lame joke, I know... it's 3am here!)

lol, its ok...its ten past five here and i act freaky...
thanks, that made me feel a little better about myself
if only things like this would last longer than a couple of mins...

 

[Emma]

well, another day of skool and another test, the day wasnt so bad, kinda dull but no more so than usual...i have come to the decision that i am giving up on self harm...my mum had a long tlk with me and reading the forums i know i have to....ive done it once but then i relapsed...i just hope i can do it...i gave myself a scare during the weekend aswell.
ive neva blacked out before but i think i did during the weekend, dunno y...wot eva the reason and for howeva long it was it kinda scared me enough to think about stuff

im 16 and i dont wanna die

well anyway...might come bck and post later..cant really be bothered to type at the mo..so ttfn

 

[lpp]

well, another day of skool and another test, the day wasnt so bad, kinda dull but no more so than usual...i have come to the decision that i am giving up on self harm...my mum had a long tlk with me and reading the forums i know i have to....ive done it once but then i relapsed...i just hope i can do it...i gave myself a scare during the weekend aswell.
ive neva blacked out before but i think i did during the weekend, dunno y...wot eva the reason and for howeva long it was it kinda scared me enough to think about stuff

im 16 and i dont wanna die

well anyway...might come bck and post later..cant really be bothered to type at the mo..so ttfn

*gives u a good luck hug em*

 

[stupidsoul1]

*hugs* people diss you because u r weird?????
thats retarded...over here u get teased coz ur normal.....weird is the new cool those people are just delayed and one day will get over it....

 

[Emma]

thnks guys ur so supportive..

 

[woodyloveslinkin]

lol its not so pointless after all !

 

[Emma]

lol its not so pointless after all !

wots not pointless?

 

[stupidsoul1]

i dunno shes dumb just ignore her lol

 

[Emma]

i dunno shes dumb just ignore her lol

lol, aww no shes not...

 

[Emma]

my day...it kinda sucked really like monday...in a boring classrm, got shouted at because i was late...whoops

anyway, with my giving up o the cutting, i relapsed...i dont no if i'll be able to do it...my mum and stepdad are fighting at the moment really loud....hope he doesnt hit her....

my sis is coming back from uni soon so im really happy about that..ive had an ok day...

got called into the nurses office, supposeidly im under weight

huh?

yeah rite!!!

anyway gotta go, cant be bothered to type more, i may come back and fill it out more, sory my life is so dull people!