Favorite Simpsons Quotes

[RoyalOrleans]

I'm bored.

I created this thread to post your favorite Simpsons quotes, whether by the family or by one of the many characters.

My personal favorite is the Comic Book Store Guy

"But Aquaman, you can't marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds."

 

[tizz]

"I am teh lizard queen, I can see everything"....... "can't talk! comin' down"

 

[tizz]

Damn I am an idiot and I can't edit..... OK so BTW RO WTF is that Avi!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[RoyalOrleans]

Homer: No TV, no beer makes Homer go something, something...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do! Blahhhhhhhhh!!!!

 

[phreakwars]

Homer: No TV, no beer makes Homer go something, something...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do! Blahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Mr. Burns: EXCELLENT
.
.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

 

[Vortex]

Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
Smithers: What?!!
Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!
Smithers: Oh! Of course.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

"Ya know me, Marge! I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming."

 

[Gentilhomme]

"Oh, you don't know what your capable of. I Never thought i could shoot down a German plane, but last year, i proved myself wrong" Grand Pa

 

[Gentilhomme]

-"To alchool! The cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems"

-"UGH!! I'm never gonna eat chilie again an..WOOO Chilie!!!!"

-"...And the talking coyoate musha been that talkin dog.."
"Hi ya Homer, find your soulmate!"
"Wait a min, dogs can't talk!!"
"Woof Woof"
"Damn stright!"

-"In America, first you get the surger, then you get the power, THEN you get the women.."

-(Mr. Burns looks at his anti-disease capsule only to find homer eating a sandwich in it)
Mr. Burns "who the devil are you?"
Homer "I'm Mr. Burns!"

- (Cheif Wiggum releases police dogs)
"There, now they'll track down your boy and we'll have him back in no time!"
"Uh, will they just find him or will they find him and kill him?"
"Well, they'll..um...bumbalumba...sum.."

Note: You're dealing with a pretty big Simpsons fan here guys.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

"Please do not offer my God a peanut." Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

 

[fullauto]

Prosecution: Well if you don't want to kill bart, how do you explain that tattoo on your chest that says 'Die Bart, Die!' ??
Side Show Bob: No! It's german... it means 'the bart, the!'
Jury: oh... anyone who speaks german can't be evil!


ROFLMAO

 

[RoyalOrleans]

"People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine." - Moe Szyslak

 

[builder]

Mr. Burns: "Simpson eh?" Like he's never met him b4.

Marge: "MMHrrrggggh."

Bart: "It was Santa's little helper."

 

[Gentilhomme]

-"Yah i seen him before, i gave him a few blinces to paint my fence, but he never did it!"
="Those Blinces were lousey!"
-"Paint my Fence!"
="Make me!"

 

[Vortex]

Mr Burns is the best on that show....

Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If you did it, sir?


Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and was the setting of Satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.

I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

 

[phreakwars]

Comic Book Store Guy: From now on, we will mate every 7 years just like the Vulcans, for some of you this will mean much less sex, for me, it will mean more.

I don't think that was EXACTALLY how he said it, but its still funny as hell
.
.

 

[Jhony5]

Homer:"Its funny because its not me".

 

[King_Jimmy_The_Stoned]

Bart- "Eat My Shorts!"

 

[ALLAH IS GREAT]

''DOH!''

Cracks me up everytime!!