Foxx's Poetry Corner

[Greyfoxx]

Okay, since i am tired of making a new thread everytime i wanna put in a new piece, i have figured out i should just make one big neverending thread!!!

Now, for my first peice i wish to show you all is something i made about a year and a half ago, when i first started going out with andy.

My Poem​

When I am sad and look into your eyes
I see your great sense of pride.
Eventhough you might be far away
I feel your presense anyway.
You, the one who makes my knees weak
Even when you speak.
With you I feel alive and well.
Our love is strong enough that we'll tell,
"I love you forever and always"
I believe it will never fray.
Within your arms, I'm true to my heart
When we talk, It's almost an art.
In my Heart I know it's true,
That I'll be by your side through and through.​

 

[Jeezy]

Wow...that poem really touches me..it's so nice...if someone would say this to me...I would be speechless

 

[Vash_the_Stampede]

Pretty.. Can't really review it because I personally can't review written word, but it's nice.

 

[Peterdea]

i love it! :thumbsup:

 

[Greyfoxx]

i thank ye much for yer comments all....its nice to know people like my work

@Jeezy: I'm glad it affected you so, its good to know that my work can touch people on different levels...and just to let ya know, when i gave that to Andy, he WAS speechless

 

[diana]

Oh hell yeah! This is an amazing piece of art...really touching...*wipes away the tear*

 

[chaz-girl-fanatic]

OMG it's spo very great i...i...I'm touching it's so...*no don't cry jainy hold back*^^
no i think it's pretty^^
:thumbsup: you will be famous if you make this poems official

 

[Greyfoxx]

Wow, thats nice of you to say jainy*i think thats yer name* it means a lot that people like my writing!!!

Oh hell yeah! This is an amazing piece of art...really touching...*wipes away the tear*

Thank ye much Diana, i'm glad it had that affect

 

[chaz-girl-fanatic]

well greyfoxx my real name is jana but my nickname (my friends call me that and others too^^) is jainy...you can call me both...^^

 

[Greyfoxx]

well greyfoxx my real name is jana but my nickname (my friends call me that and others too^^) is jainy...you can call me both...^^

thank ye much jana/jainy

and thanks for likin my poem

 

[chaz-girl-fanatic]

^^no problem ^^

 

[jackie]

that was so alwsome

 

[Greyfoxx]

I Thank Ye Much jackie!
i'm glad ya'll liked it

 

[Ravynlee]

Aww... that's so sweet... sentimentally, emotionally, lyrically... I know, that review probably makes you wanna gag or sth but TRUE to me never the less. The first two sentences was what stuck out for me. Better than every other love-themed/inspired/related drivel billions of others aspiring poets pen. Meh. Call it bias but I liked it.
Technical stuff; nice flow, uncomplicated use of word (best way to reach target audience/wholistically anyone), clean and consise, to the point, didn't waver, and had heart. Can't fake sentiment like that. Nice stuff there Foxxy. Only issue with it - too little of it. Meh. Like a good book, just start getting into it and it ends... hate that.

 

[Greyfoxx]

thank you mummy. yer so nice to yer daughter. i try my bestest and i thank ye for liking it. means a lot to an aspiring writer like myself.

and of course ya gotta rant! but we wuv yer rants

 

[Greyfoxx]

Newest Poem

Night goes by slowly
As I think of thee
I feel so lonely
As I see your face I cry for thee
My dreams have yet to come
My mind has been on the run
My thoughts are of you
My mind wants nothing but you
And this I know is true
The wind howls outside of my window
The rain cries on the glass
As I match is’ glance
I feel the tears onto me
As I feel the loneliness fill the inside
You are what carries me on
But also you keep me up at night
I won’t give your love up without a fight
And I know beyond this tunnel
Is you standing in the light…​

*sorry for the double post*

 

[chaz-girl-fanatic]

OMG YOU'RE SUCH A AWESOME WRITTER!!!!!!!!!great job

 

[Jeezy]

That's so touching...I love the way you write...just awesome

 

[Greyfoxx]

*blushes* thanks guys....it means soo much to me that ya'll like my stuff

 

[Ravynlee]

Hey Foxxy, great stuff as always. The rhyming gave it a nice over all sense of consistency and it flowed well. A bit repetative, but still good. The final stanza stood out for me. Noice my sweet.