lpp's journal

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but see when i use to be in public school i was teaseed everyday
the kids would be like ewww rebecca grems or like other ****
and you know what i did NOTHING i just put up with the emotional abuse for years i didn't care got use to it and look at my now this angry kid who can't trust people cause you know why cause i am afraid i might get hurt and i just block people out and don't let hardly anyone in and if i do your lucky but still you think i wanted people to tease me NO i wanted to have friends to hang with to talk with and to have sleep overs but no i didn't have very many friends only one but she left me in the 7th grade then through middle school i had only one friend but she stopped talking to me to i guess people hate me bigt ****ing deal i am use to emotional abuse cause i put up with from kindergarten-7th grade till the middle of 7th grade then i my mom decide to homeschool me but in 6th grade some fat chick called me a slut but hey i didn't know what it meant i looke dit up and found out it meant sleeping with lots of guys i was like that is not me and i told the teachter damn stupid bitch told the teachter that she didn't call me that and she got away with it but in 7th grade i got her back by calling her a hoe and it felt great my only friends i mostly had were teachers wow teachers some shocker huh me and the art teacher were close but student teacher friends its was fun then i moved to az it ****ing sucks here and bad enough i have to go through emotional abuse again with people saying dumb **** behind my back i know people are i even still deal with cause my older brother does it me all the he calles me fat stupid dumb and other ****.....so look i maybe use to it but do you think i want to keep dealing with it ...No so please letting you all know i am sick of tired of it and i want people to get to know me better before they judge me and **** cause i am really really tired of it and **** all my poems are about anger,depression,pain,hate,death and other ****..

and thnks for listening to this



ps:god damn that felt good to get of my chest

and i hope people can learn from what i did in the past by not telling someone
i never went home and cried i just bottled everything up inside and never talked about it or never let it out till it got too much but in the end when i turned 12 i started cutting but i would when i shaved my legs but then mar 6th 05 11:somethin at night i started cutting all the time but may scars you still see and **** then mat 30th 05 i tried to kill my self i over doed on wellburtin xl i took 7 pill hoping it would end my life and ****. but no it was failed attempt so i told my mom she took me to the er to get better so then april 4th 05 i got home knew there had to a be a razor some where so i found one tried to break into it to cut my wrist got my thum on accident got 4 stitchs and got put on a psyc hospital and i am better now but i still play those memories in my head once in awhile.

thnks for reading this

lpp
 
wow, thats alot...!
good it hasnt got u down now and u know how to get it off of ur chest..!
 
Hey LPP! *Huge cyber hugs* Man, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! That's a very couragous thing to do; spilling your guts to virtual strangers like that. In your case I think it's a very brave step and exactly what you need. I can tell you from experience that it sucks growing up old and alone... You don't want to end up bitter, trust me. But reaching out to ppl like you're doing here, even though it hurts, is an excellent thing, trully.

Wow... I'm speechless. Don't know what to say! Just... I'm proud of you for giving us, well, me, a glimpse into the real you. Yeah you've got problems but so have I, so have all of us. I just hope things keep getting better for you. And remember, even though you're having a good day now (bloody excellent!) that when the bad days do (and will) come back that they don't knock you back down again... try and focus on what makes YOU happy, bugger everyone else.
BTW, glad Star Wars was good. Haven't seen it. Maybe when it comes out at the video store... *grins*

*great big comforting cyber hugs* (if you don't have an issue with intamacy here, do you? Just wondering) Look after yourself!
TC & TTYL,
-Rav
aka Rob's Gurl

(Edit: Glad too that you have someone else in your family, be it an uncle (Aaron, was it?) whom you feel close to. That's great to hear. Glad to hear you stay in touch too, good thing. You said he travels for work, what does he do?? Anyway... cool!)
 
Ravynlee said:
Hey LPP! *Huge cyber hugs* Man, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! That's a very couragous thing to do; spilling your guts to virtual strangers like that. In your case I think it's a very brave step and exactly what you need. I can tell you from experience that it sucks growing up old and alone... You don't want to end up bitter, trust me. But reaching out to ppl like you're doing here, even though it hurts, is an excellent thing, trully.

Wow... I'm speechless. Don't know what to say! Just... I'm proud of you for giving us, well, me, a glimpse into the real you. Yeah you've got problems but so have I, so have all of us. I just hope things keep getting better for you. And remember, even though you're having a good day now (bloody excellent!) that when the bad days do (and will) come back that they don't knock you back down again... try and focus on what makes YOU happy, bugger everyone else.
BTW, glad Star Wars was good. Haven't seen it. Maybe when it comes out at the video store... *grins*

*great big comforting cyber hugs* (if you don't have an issue with intamacy here, do you? Just wondering) Look after yourself!
TC & TTYL,
-Rav
aka Rob's Gurl

(Edit: Glad too that you have someone else in your family, be it an uncle (Aaron, was it?) whom you feel close to. That's great to hear. Glad to hear you stay in touch too, good thing. You said he travels for work, what does he do?? Anyway... cool!)
Click to expand...

yay i like what ya said Rob's Gurl
 
DEVIL DUCKY
a2422189d1caaf2fb7607416ba0766a8.jpg


HEHE SEXI DUCKY GONNA KILL YOU
 
update
well i had this like crazy creepy dream last night and like not going to tell it NOT i am
well it had to do with Store Wars thing and a cat and a like the storewars people and like cuke master like was in hot hot water and like his beard hit the glass pan thing and most of it melted and then some other weird **** happend....this dream is scary

but other then that i have been good got in a fight with MrRandomGuy over one his threads cause it got delated and **** and all and like yea i am done now

i got a new poem in the writers corner its called One Step Closer
 
Hey, just droppin' in to see how you doing. Freaky dream... a little weird to say the least, but I guess it could've been worse...? (I knew there was a reason I haven't seen that movie yet!) Not too sure inciting fights is the best thing but you know what you're doing I guess. Liked your poem. Raw. Then, most of your writing is. (That's not an insult I hope!) Good stuff.
*hugs*
Take care, TTYL,
-Rob's Gurl *grins*
 
hey
(lpunderground)<--- that was my name i cant get on that one anymore -_-. ur not on right now so i cant tell you why i did it but i was pissed thats my only reason. O well i just dont care.
 
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