Am working in it, Vi. Hopefully I get this done in time and to your satisfaction. Thanks for stopping back in here just to catch up. Means a lot, really. And thanks naturally to the rest of you. Glad at least someone else out there is enjoying the hellish ride created by my morbid imagination.
Here's more for the day. Oh and hope it makes sense (and by that I mean ties in to the 500+ other pages before this. I have to admit am too lazy to read back to the beginning so if someone else remembers something that seems remiss dont hesitate to pull me up so I can correct it. Or argue my way around it, either way's good with me)
Try where you can to enjoy. As usual language, profanity and the usual ahead. You well know what to expect by now
*
Joanna was in a panic.
“What do you mean? No, I can’t. I won’t!”
Joel looked into her face, into her eyes, gravely. His fingers that were locked around her shoulders tightened. His head bowed with a sigh.
“If he is alive Joel I want to see him, I have to! Please don’t make me-”
“Joanna!” Joel barked.
He shook her. Joanna froze. Whether it was the alcohol in her system or the hysteria of the moment Joanna stood numb and tense in her fiancé’s grip. A cold shudder worked its way up her spine. Tears pricked her eyes but they were narrowed with a familiar rage too as she saw, just for a split second in time, Rob’s face from the past taking the place of Joel’s. She grimaced and a small sound escaped her lips. Relinquishing hold Joel apologised but his eyes remained stern. Joel shook his head and opened his mouth to speak. At first nothing came out.
“I know you love him,” he said, his eyes averted and his lopsided smile quick, reflexive and uncertain, “but you have to trust me. You have to go-”
“But if it is him-” Joanna began to protest.
“He could be dangerous!” Joel intercepted, “For ***’s sake Jo, he’s already been accused of corruption, he faked his death, and *** knows what else he’s capable of. Just trust me okay, please, for Haily’s sake, go home, you’ll be safer there. I promise if it is him I’ll… do what I can to help,” he said. He rubbed at his brow with his fingers glowing white. “It’s just… a bad time to be out on the streets right now. And if this rumour about him and Bennington’s daughter is true-”
“No!” Joanna declared, struggling in his arms as if physically deflecting an insult, “No! Rob wouldn’t do that! I know him!”
“You don’t know him at all! Jesus, Jo, you heard it. He was seen running from her mother’s apartment, and her body’s already been found. It’s not a rumour, a kid’s dead and he was the last one seen with her. If the witness is right he’s at the scene of the crime right now. *** knows what he’s likely to do next. He’s not your husband anymore, okay? I’m sorry if that hurts but you have to know. I’m sorry,” Joel said. He appeared to be begging it.
Joanna pouted as she shook her head. Her eyes shimmered. She tried to speak but the words just weren’t forthcoming. She felt Joel’s arms wrap around her, crushing her against him, but she couldn’t react. Her head was spinning and not because of the alcohol still coursing through her system. Memories haunted her. She felt like an outsider now looking in on some of the happiest moments of her former life. She didn’t just see them but she felt them, relived them, hearing Rob’s familiar low baritone as he laughed along with her in front of the TV, felt his arms around her as he carried her across the threshold and lay entangled with him on the bed sheets, she could smell his scent, feel the warmth emanate from his chest as she listened to him breathe, hear the guttural groan against her ear as they made passionate love, and see the truth in his eyes as he whispered that he loved her…
As Joel pulled away Joanna shook her head again. It took all her remaining strength to summon her eyes up to face him. Time was of the essence. Around them the club was virtually empty of people. Goren’s arrival had stolen the life from what had been a joyous engagement party and had taken most of those in attendance with him. Now left in the wake surrounded by half empty glasses, by tattered decorations, and by a gloomy silence that festered in the post midnight shadows, Joanna stared back at the man she had thought she was going to marry with her heart being ruthlessly torn in two. She tried to smile but the gesture was weak and forced at best. The night felt so surreal she was at a loss to even know what to say let alone where to start. Words were futile now anyway in the wake of recent developments. If Rob really was alive she had to see him just one last time just if it was to say goodbye – she didn’t want to be robbed of that chance once again – but Joel was looking down over her with his youthful face set and determined.
Behind them there was movement at the door. A tattooed arm snaked in and gestured in urgency. Framed by the doorway with the backdrop of early morn at his back Benji looked in at the couple with his expression, around the dark glasses that he still wore, equally hesitant. He cleared his throat and apologized.
“Guys, I’m sorry. Bro, we have to go. Come on man.”
Joel nodded at his twin before he turned back to Joanna. That moment lasted forever as he cupped her face and smiled ever so slightly. He didn’t say anything and neither did she. Joanna was mute feeling him pull her towards the door, dragging her into a future where she didn’t know what was waiting for her. She wanted to go back in time, she wanted all of this madness to end, but yet she was at the mercy of it all, feeling like she was drowning and there was nothing at all she could do to save herself or anyone around her that she loved.
He led her to a nearby patrol car and ushered her into it, clinging to her hand with assurances that everything would be okay and she had nothing to worry about when the look on his face attested otherwise. To a woman who had been down this path before in some respects, having been married to a cop who dedicated himself so completely to his job, she knew what his words weren’t saying and what his tight jaw, his forced smile and stern eyes weren’t telling her. Panic swelled in her chest as he withdrew his hand and closed the car’s door, effectively separating them. Joanna could only stare back mutely, her throat being choked by all the words she wanted to say, all the words she felt she needed to say, and all the words she wished she had said to Rob before he had left so long ago, terrified in some instinctual way that this would be the last time she would ever lay eyes on him again.
Clinging to the door she implored Joel with her eyes. Come with me, her eyes screamed at him, but as tears silently slid down her cheeks Joel pressed his fingers to his lips and touched the glass and tapped the vehicle’s roof to speed it on its way.
Behind her a sea of red and blue lights was flashing, casting the city street in surreal and dizzying colour. Joanna craned around in her seat until she couldn’t see Joel or his brother or the last lingering few of his colleagues bidding their loved ones goodbye before they headed to the station to gear up and in some respects like soldiers going off to war.
“You alright, miss?” the uniformed officer asked.
Joanna sunk back into her seat, smearing her eyes with the back of her hand. The stone that glimmered from her finger lightly grazed her flesh. With a sullen pout she looked down at it, ignoring the intrusive gaze the man was giving her via the rear view mirror. Her lips twitched, caught somewhere between a stifled sob and pained smile. She shrugged.
“I don’t know,” she confessed.
Propping her cheek on her fist she stared out the window, beyond her dismal reflection at the city sweeping by beyond the cool glass. Joanna’s shoulders fell with a sigh.
“I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
The officer grunted in acknowledgement. The vehicle lazily rocked as it turned a corner and merged with idling traffic.
“Hey, don’t I know you? You look familiar.”
“I’m sorry, were you at the… party?”
“Party? For what?”
Joanna frowned and blinked up. Her stomach immediately tensed. She looked back at the slice of face she was afforded via the mirror but couldn’t recognise the details she was shown. Joanna smiled and shook her head. Though she didn’t mean the gesture at all her insides were suddenly scrambling around in a familiar panic.