Off Topic Forum in Government?

[fullauto]

Here's another dead horse to think about....

If you were the Supreme Chancellor of the USA, what positions would you give GF'ers in your government...


fullauto - Supreme Chancellor of All... The buck stops here... All decisions eventually are made by me (with consulting my council of course)

ToriAllen - Queen, not mine... but in general... Director of City beautification, and Women's' Corrections.

Outlaw2747 - Supreme Military Commander <--Five Stars! Also holds seat in my council.

phreakwars - Secretary of State... In charge of all matters domestic... Top authority second only to mine in affairs of domestic non-military affairs. Also hold seat on my council.

Anna Perenna - Passes out basketballs at the Detroit Ymca... Hold no seat... ever...

tizz - Liberal Lobby Liaison... The go between person for me and the Uber-Liberals since I can't stand to talk to one face to face without wanting to ban grape-nuts...

TheJenn88 - Minister of Foreign Relations to Canada... Handles all communications with the Canadians, well, those that don't speak French anyways...

Cogito Ergo Sum - Supreme Minister of Verbal Abuse... aka... Press Secretary with a sever attitude problem! Basically tells people to go **** them selves with elegance...

skategreen - State Holiday Festivities Coordinator... You need a job, and I hate planning parties!

Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell - Homeland Security Director / Propaganda Minister... Hold a lead seat on my council...

snafu - Secretary of Military Training... Sees to it that these young metrosexuals learn how to be men... Seat on council

Jhony5 - Redneck Liaison... I once knew how to speak southern but I forgot... I need ya man! pays good too!

RoyalOrleans - White House Security.... Charged with beating the **** out of people when I point them out in a crowd...

builder - Court Jester...

Vortex - White House fashion Coordinator... also coordinates gay pride celebrations with skategreen If I allow them...

Hugh G. Rekshun - Also White House Security....

angie - In charge of 'punch-and-pie' during Friday lunches...

Komrade Vostok Hazard - We will study him to find out how to make kids grow up and not cling onto the first dogma to make them feel like they are different...

ALLAH IS GREAT - My concubine...

ParasiteGod - Secretary of eradicating parasites...

cool_dude - Drug Czar... not that way! He just hangs and does a lot of drugs so the rest of us will be reminded as to what will happen if you do too many...

tonon - Supreme Minister of Imported Condiments... Makes sure all things like Taco Bell Hot Sauce is made without Mexican Water.

Silver_dragon87 - She will be the only person in the country allowed to protest... Then My security will know who to pound...

 

[ImWithStupid]

fullauto,

I see you have someone to take care of Homeland Security. Who is gonna take care of foreign espionage/intelligence? You know CIA type super secret spy ****.

 

[Outlaw2747]

I'm not just in charge of the Army/Navy/Marines/Air Force. I handle intel as well.

 

[ALLAH IS GREAT]

I reckon I got the best job.

 

[TheJenn88]

I don't want to be a liason to Canadians. We don't do that much..of..anything..useful. Grow weed, pass liberal laws, have hundreds of millions of dollars go missing, knowing elect criminals...care too much about some damn wood, and we got sick cows.

wtf?

demands something better

 

[Ruse]

Ahh, you've gotta love putting people in their place. Haha, on Parasite's, does that mean she gets to get rid of illegals and free meal ticket-ers?
The best job of all. Feel proud.

 

[angie]

angie - In charge of 'punch-and-pie' during Friday lunches...

Only if I can spike the punch!

 

[RoyalOrleans]

RoyalOrleans - White House Security.... Charged with beating the **** out of people when I point them out in a crowd...

Now, we're talking. I carry an old hickory axe-handle, a napsack full of caltrops, and a bola. I'm pretty good with a bo staff, too.

 

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

Since it has to be such a complex and structured government....

KVH: Supreme overlord of mother****ing EVERYTHING

Outlaw: Vice-Overlord of mother****ing EVERYTHING

Phreakwars: Since he's a fence sitter who can see things in many different ways, I'll give him Chief of foreign affairs

Hugh G Rection: Ex military, Don't take crap......I'll give him Secretary of defense

AIG: Harem girl

Snafu: Chief of Palace security

SkateGreen: Court Jester

Fullauto: Palace Janitor

Vortex: Minister of interior......design of palace.

RoyalOrleans: Chairperson of the NRA.

ToriAllen: Test subject for painful chemical weapons

Builder: Puppet leader of Australia.

ParasiteGod: First lady?

MRIH: Conservative Liason -- If I feel like listening to their crap -- that is if I let them continue to exist.

Tonon: Secretary of Putting-greedy-rich-****s-who-ruin-communities-in-their-graves

TheJenn: Palace bathroom attendant

CES: Minister of Propaganda.

SilverDragon: Minister of chewing out bible thumping idiots -- and shooting them if nessicary

Tizz: Passes out tokens in the Palace Arcade. It's about all she's good for

 

[ToriAllen]

ToriAllen: Test subject for painful chemical weapons

Its been a while since you've been to the box hasn't it...

 

[RoyalOrleans]

Based on the usernames of my fellow GF members, here's how I would place each one of the "regulars"...

fullauto - Secretary of Transportation.

ImWithStupid - Secretary of Education.

MRIH - Director of the CIA

HughGRection - First Lady Appeaser, when I'm out of town. Full time porn director/actor.

snafu - Press Secretary and Enforcer

smutt butt - Director of the EPA

TheJenn88 - (???) Local Bartender...

Outlaw - Director of the FBI

phreakwars - (new cabinet post) Secretary of Plastic Surgery

tonon - Color-copying Czar

Anna Perenna - (???) Maid.

KVH - Director of the FDA

Vortex - National Weather Queen

CES - Ambassador to Vatican City/Italy

ToriAllen - (???) Head Cook.

ParasiteGod - Department of Agriculture Head

Lethalfind - Executioner

skategreen - White Castle Day Manager.

tizz - Crack Whore, lab monkey for Jhony5

builder - HUD Director

angie - (???) Marching Band Director, I love NCAA football halftime shows.

Siver_Dragon87 - (???) Brings me coffee and a danish every morning... works for ToriAllen.

Jhony5 - (???) Drug Czar

 

[ToriAllen]

ToriAllen - (???) Head Cook.

You must be out of your mind! I hate to cook. Are you trying to torture me? Do you hate me that much? I would rather you use me as a lab rat for the chemical weapons.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

You must be out of your mind! I hate to cook. Are you trying to torture me? Do you hate me that much? I would rather you use me as a lab rat for the chemical weapons.

Ohh...

How about a nice, shiny nickel if you just jump up and down for me all day?

 

[ToriAllen]

Ohh...

How about a nice, shiny nickel if you just jump up and down for me all day?

Make it $50 an hour,40 hour work week with possible time and a half overtime, full medical and dental benefits for me and the kids, 401K, and a $2000 dollar a week living allowence.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

Make it $50 an hour,40 hour work week with possible time and a half overtime, full medical and dental benefits for me and the kids, 401K, and a $2000 dollar a week living allowence.

That's what I was going to pay you to cook, Tori.

 

[ToriAllen]

That's what I was going to pay you to cook, Tori.

Well, I hope you like take-out or TV dinners...

 

[RoyalOrleans]

Well, I hope you like take-out or TV dinners...

As long as food is on the table, you won't hear me complain.

 

[angie]

I'll trade jobs with Tori. As long as I have an unlimited budget.

 

[Outlaw2747]

You must be out of your mind! I hate to cook. Are you trying to torture me? Do you hate me that much? I would rather you use me as a lab rat for the chemical weapons.

KVH had that job lined up for you.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

I'll trade jobs with Tori. As long as I have an unlimited budget.

Fine, you can be the cook and Tori can be the Marching Band Director.