Phi's journal

[Pheonix791989]

alright after rav telling me how much I needed a journal, here it is. the journal of phi.

12-9-05

ok today was a crappy day to start with, then I found out that this guy who I thought was my friend actualy hates me. hows that for a good morning? took a test in US history which was wicked easy. I mean come on, I dont even study and I have like a 99 in that class. I lost the notebook that had my Algebra 2 stuff and my essay for english and got it back half way through third period. The good thing was that I now had my first draft and the revision work sheet but no final draft. But I just did it over in pen and made spelling corrections. I swear I made it by the skin of my teeth. Updated my story too. I have to finish christmas shopping and I have no idea what to get my evil step-mom. Right now I just feel like going home and sleeping. Its freezing cold and I have to break the ice cicles off of my AC. My dad found out about the fight that I got into on the bus. He gave me the same lecture that he did the last time it was unofficial slap a *** day. He said as long as my fight wasnt sloppy and as long as I didnt throw the first punch and I was defending my self then he wasnt mad. I'm actually in a semi-good mood. we get to light the advent candle at church next week so thats gonna be fun. Since its like fifth period now, sixth and then my block class are gonna be so boring. french 3 is my hardest class this year, I'm making like a 68 in it. Then on the block I have a 88 to a 96. either way its pretty good for physical science. we're learning about sound waves and my teacher actualy played LP on her computer to show us sound waves. well im going to go check on something else so bye

phi

 

[Friðbjörn]

Maybe you yourself didn't necessarily need one, but I think it's safe to say the rest of us had been waiting for this

but o.0 slap a *** day?

 

[Black_Angel]

Coolies... I wish my teachers played LP to us in lessons.

So yeah, just thought I'd have a look in the creator of the great Delson Shrine's Journal ^.^

 

[Ravynlee]

Awww - I'm to blame huh? C'mon, you know you wanted this... maybe, but teh point is I wanted this, and I got what I want in the end *breaks into song* and now i'm happy. Heh. Thanks! *feels strangely fulfilled*

But seriously, it's good to vent. About your grades - confuses the **** outta me. In Australia we use (or did when I was a student) a different system, but I'm assuming by the sounds of it things are going, shall we say, swimmingly? Tis good news. Knew you had a good head on your shoulders. I'm biased but I don't care. *grins* It's all good.

Read your latest update - loved it (apu) and as always have responded. Guess I could just type the word 'Drool' and leave it at that really, but no, it gives me a good laugh too, so for that I'm most appreciative. Thankies. Plus everyone knows I can't just type simple answers - cept maybe at the count to 1000 game thread, but even there I get into trouble for simply not typing numbers *shrugs* Hooligans. Anyhoo, see, I rant here, too, my rants aren't just reserved for Robbie (something else is sacrosanct but I'm not about to say just what that is *evil smirk* judge for yourself in this public forum! *cackles herself silly*) Oh, and thanks for the game over at the Delson Shrine - longest, strangest game I've never played in all my life...

It's all good!

Um... yeah, with Viking on that whole unofficial 'slap a ***' day. What's that all about? *raises a brow curiously* Maybe I don't wanna know I guess, sounds violent whichever. Not that there's anything altogether wrong with violence on the whole - but having said that I don't wanna make it sound like I'm an advocate for random senseless acts of violence for the sake of it. Beating up lil old granies for thrills is evil. Rob beating the living **** out of his skins (yes, drums for all you pervs out there ) is just beautiful. My beautiful savage... awww... *gush like a lovestruck twit*

Well, glad things seem to be going well. Glad you didn't get into too much mischief as of late... but if you do... just stay safe, 'kay?

Look forward to more mayhem and incessant carrying on in our respective houses of worhip etc. Take care, hon,

-Rav

(The one at fault. again)

 

[Friðbjörn]

I think it's per 100, the grades. Like, Phi said the easiest is where she gets 99 without studying...and the toughest is a 68

 

[Pheonix791989]

ok its saturday and here's how the grade system works 100-96 is an A the best thing you can get. 95-86 is a B and thats also pretty good. 85 -77 is a C which is average. 76-70 is a D which is not so good and anything lower then a 70 is an F which suxs ***. Slap a *** day is on December seventh because its the day which pearl harbor was bombed by the japanese. then after that happened things for the japanese went down hill. they were put in internment camps which were slightly better then the work camps in germany and in europe but almost as bad. If you heard Kenji on the FM cd then you know what I'm takling about. its in one of America's dumbest moments along with the Atomic bomb, and clinton. I just finished up christmas shopping and im tired as ****. but I pretty much stay out of trouble. saw alot of people last night at the mall from school. even adam, (drool!) hes my crush at school. I've pretty much stayed out of trouble so far....(checks,) I'm pretty much the one that gets along with everyone and is a quiet kid at school.

Had an interesting dream last night. It had something to do with chester being evil and brad and rob saving LPF's lives and yeah. pretty random. rav, fribby, and Taylor were in it as well as vash. had to do with lots of spiders(shiver) and fire. ahh well cant make sense out of everything. I got stuff to do and I updated my story so every one go read it (laughs)

phi

 

[Phranka]

@dream; lol I dreamt about lpf too once

I'm a quiet girl too ¬¬ I'm wondering what they're gonna say about me in the year book ¬¬

 

[Friðbjörn]

ok its saturday and here's how the grade system works 100-96 is an A the best thing you can get. 95-86 is a B and thats also pretty good. 85 -77 is a C which is average. 76-70 is a D which is not so good and anything lower then a 70 is an F which suxs ***. Slap a *** day is on December seventh because its the day which pearl harbor was bombed by the japanese. then after that happened things for the japanese went down hill. they were put in internment camps which were slightly better then the work camps in germany and in europe but almost as bad. If you heard Kenji on the FM cd then you know what I'm takling about. its in one of America's dumbest moments along with the Atomic bomb, and clinton. I just finished up christmas shopping and im tired as ****. but I pretty much stay out of trouble. saw alot of people last night at the mall from school. even adam, (drool!) hes my crush at school. I've pretty much stayed out of trouble so far....(checks,) I'm pretty much the one that gets along with everyone and is a quiet kid at school.
Had an interesting dream last night. It had something to do with chester being evil and brad and rob saving LPF's lives and yeah. pretty random. rav, fribby, and Taylor were in it as well as vash. had to do with lots of spiders(shiver) and fire. ahh well cant make sense out of everything. I got stuff to do and I updated my story so every one go read it (laughs)

phi

I coulnd't agree more about the internment camps and atomic bombs...

and cool dream lol :thumbsup:

better than the messed up stuff I get

 

[Pheonix791989]

man i swear I am gonna lock my sisterrs in the closet and ductape them in. one of my sisters has the biggest attitude ever (shes the young one) and the other dosent stop griping about our step-mom. Its a pull your hair out slam your head into the wall thing. My littlest sister got me socks again for christmas. >< I swear. I know its suposed to be the thought that counts but the least she could do is put some more thought into it. I finally finished my collection of the Linkin park videos. (the angels sing.) I also finally got the making of OSC, SIB, and BTH on the computer. so im in an extreamly good mood. not to mention I just got one of the best **** CD's for the dirty santa. I guess I'm not as depressed as usuaul.

phi

 

[acdcrules04]

hey phi, sorry about your sister, little sibblings are so annoying! well have a good day.

 

[Black_Angel]

Eeh I hate smaller siblings too.. I have an 11 year old brother and he's so annoying -_- Though I am currently brainwashing him into liking all the bands that I like and becoming a mini mosher kid XD

 

[stupidsoul1]

are they nice socks??

lol atleast you have siblings

one day you will miss their constant annoyance because it will feel weird to have some sort of peace and quiet without them

 

[Pheonix791989]

*** I am so ******* ******, my father is mad at my stepmom because she refused to check my sisters room to see if it was clean because she told us to have our rooms done by friday. My room was done and now my dad is taking it out on me and my other sister. I swear I am always the one that is being ****** at because I'm not *** damned perfect. I am so hungary because my dad didnt even let me and my sister eat dinner. The only thing I've had in my stomache is water. I've been doing so much cleaning already. I cant wait untill I get my licens so I can get the **** out of here and live on my own. I've been looking at apartments so I can get a general idea of what I want next year. I want to get emancipated so I can finally be on my own. first I have to get a job and make some money. My bruises have gotten even worse lately because of my dad. He dosent hit me or anything but its like cutting to me, a way to deal with my emotions. I swear though, I could live off ramen and Easy mac if i lived by my self, then also my friend stephanie's mom would like have me over every other day trying to stuff me full of food. It would be hard trying to work with thing and trying to keep everything budgeted, but I think I could do it. legally I'm old enough to be on my own. As long as I have my LPF, my music, my bass, and my ramen, I'm happy. I hate my **** family and I want them to ******* die. my dad is so ****** that right now I'm suposed to be in bed and its like (checks bottom of screen) 7:36. I'm not even tired. He wonders why I'm so angry and depressed all the time and why I listen to bands like linkin park. I just want to take his head and smash it into a mirror. **** when I get out on my own, I'm adopting either a dog or a cat. I have no chance of getting a boyfriend anyways so I just might as well crawl under a rock and die. I know my grandparents would help me out under the given circumstances. I dont see the point of trying any more with school either, nothing is ever good enough. not even strait A's unless they're hundereds. Pushing Me away is playing now. It really fits my mood now.

now on to a more different subject, enough of my ****** off I-hate-the-world-so-go-****-yourself type rant. I'm hoping that Christmas will be pretty nice this year. I already know about a few things I'm getting. I'm also working on another LP/Manga crossover that also is based off of the manga Chobits. but its a bit different then the one that I'm working on now. I guess I might post a little bit of it on here. so here it is:

(Part I)

Computer. They are a convience in this world. they connect us to places we've never even dreamed of. They were built to make our lives easier. I personally would die without a computer. Every now and then, they come out with new computers, something fresh and exciting. they now have computers that are shaped like humans. I just have a regular computer, but something amazing happened and I gained a humanoid computer, a persocom.

My name is Nami Ishihara. I'm eighteen and I'm out on my own for the first time. I was still depressed about what happened three years ago. Three years ago the drummer of my favorite band was murdered. Even though I was fifteen I was devistated. He was my favorite member of the band and I had never felt connected to any one like that before. After his death, the band never really picked back up and they became the topic of where are they now. Their music still plays in my CD players and on my computers. But things havent been the same for me since then. Even though I'm on my own, I'm still finishing up high school since I had to start school a year later. I moved to california, I have to go to school for eight hours a day and work. I have a job where I make little money but enough to put food on my table and pay bills. I skated home from school since I was off for work that afternoon. I froze as I saw something in the trash. It looked like one of those persocoms. I kicked up the tail of my board and walked over to examine it. Yup it was one of those persocoms. I frowned as I pulled it out. The drummer that I lost three years ago seemed to be right here. His skin still soft and warm. I could see no gunshot wound through the chest. I raised the shirt to his perfect torso. there in the chest was a small round hole right below his lungs and right above his stomache. instead of muscle and bone, I saw wires. I frowned as I touched his face. I pulled his arm up over my shoulders as I drug him back up to my appartment. I threw him on the bed as I started to do some reasearch on everything that had to do with or was about Rob Bourdon. I pulled up all the old Linkin Park websites. I compiled everything I could find about him, hight, weight, likes, dislikes, drumming techniques, Things about his friends, manerisims, I pulled things off of the DVD's, the way he talks and put it on a single disk file. I connected him by what looked like input and out put links to my computer.

"Alright Rob, lets see what's kept you around for a while."

I connected him to my computer. His brown eyes fluttered open. He blinked many times before they focused.

"Can you here me?"

I asked. He nodded his head yes. I take that as a good sign.

"Can you speak?"

"'Yes."

He mumbeled as if he was just getting used to having a mouth.

"Do you know your name?"

"No."

well what do ya think? I think its a bit weird if you havent read Chobits before but I hope it would be alright to post some time. well I'm going to go back to working on the next two parts of Half of Me. Before I forget though I'm going to do a top 12 list of some of my favorite things. My brother gave me the idea.

Phi's 12 pains of Christmas

12. family get togethers

11. What homework?! Friday's a half day anyways, what makes you think ne1s comming?

10.christmas cards

9. why are they still playing that same &(*%($ $)*@# song for 2nd month?!?

8. cooking

7. cleaning

6. finding a tree

5. who said anything about a progress report/report card?

4. christmas gifts

3. Why do I always have to untangle the *#%&@ lights?!

2. I swear I didnt know anything about the electronics you got me for X-mas

1. If anyone turns on that @*$& dancing santa again I'm going to chuck it out the window.

Phi

 

[Pheonix791989]

My dad's still pretty mad but he's cooled off a little. My brain hurts from doing all of that french homework. He's making me take down a bunch of posters and pictures from my walls. I told him that I would take em down as long as I didnt have to take down my Linkin park/rob stuff. He said that was alright. I worked more on my "Door of LP" today. It was pretty cool. I got an idea from watching one of the LPTV episodes of them doing the artwork for meteora as an idea for my door. Picture this, a white door with paper on it. on the right is Linkin Park written in old english and everything to the right is painted a bright red with it fading off. On the Top is a Set list of LIT and then to the left of it is the LPbot from the Thank You from the VMAs. Then in the middle is a black and white pic of the group sitting down. Under it is a spray paint/ acrylic painting of Linkin Park stencil which has an orange under color and a red acrylic coating over the spray paint. Under that, parallel to the door *** is another black and white picture of LP glued to the paper, Under that is the black and blue spray painting of the guy walking from the Meteora art. I cant wait to get a picture of it to put up.

Sunday was pretty boring. not much to do except wrap christmas presents. I managed to get all of that done. I just have to get two more gifts and then some more christmas cards but its all good. (whoops XD) I've played my bass for about three hours strait. I'm no where near close to breaking my reccord of six and a half hours. My brothers band has a gig tomorrow so since they found another drummer, I get to play bass. I'm really nervous since its my first gig. I remember Rob saying that he got more nervous playing at parties in like the eighth grade then playing the bigger venues. I'm just so nervous. My brother gave me the set list that we were gonna play. out of the 15 songs, ten are LP, four are our own and one is a staind song. Just so you know our band is called HalloweenTown. I just got word from my brother that the crowd is like about 250 people. thats alot. Ne ways got to finish working on Half of me and then to write x-mas cards. I hate those **** cards.

Phi's 12 favorite songs (mix)

12. Photograph- nickelback

11. Adam's song-Blink-182

10. Nothing else matters- Metallica

9. Wake me up when september ends- Green day

8. Numb- LP

7. Good Ridance (time of Your life)- Green day

6. Faint- LP

5. So Far Away- Staind

4. Clint eastwood- Gorilliaz

3. Crawling- LP

2. Shinjitsu no uta (song of truth)- Do As Infinity

1. Ponts of Authority- LP

Phi

 

[Friðbjörn]

woah that door sounds real cool

 

[Pheonix791989]

Today was pretty good. I talked to Mr Lloyd about having him teaching me next semester for my block class about the sound system. He pretty much fixed the CD player for the system but it still makes a funny noise. Other then that my day was pretty much a bore. My friend Alyssa made us cookies and fudge, it was good.

I had to go to my sisters chorus concert so my bros and my friend steph pretty much stuck it out with me. The whole auditorium was filled when me and my brothers band played our gig. I was so scared and I almost fell off the stage. I finished the christmas cards so yay. ( squeals hapily.) I cant believe I have to give up my room again to my **** aunt. She's so **** anoying. I cant stand her. But its worth seeing her squirm when she wakes up to see Rob's gorgeous face (drool!!) and all of the LP and green day members looking down at her XD! out of all of the pictures on my wall, 30 of them are rob, 28 are Pheonix, 25 are brad and then joe mike and chester have a total of 10 each. Add that up and you only have half of my pics on my wall. The rest are group photos/ music screen caps/ posters.

Speaking of LP, That's gonna be my next piece of art in Art III. I cant wait to start it after christmas break. I also actualy made a 95 on an Algebra 2 test. (jumps up and down hyperly) it bumps. I'm kind of tired but I havent written the next part of Half of me so I'm going to do that now.

Phi's 12 hottes guys

12. Mike Valley (skater)

11. Brandon Lee (actor)

10. Mike Shinoda

9. Tom DeLongue

8. Kurdt Kobain

7. Billy Martin

6. Evil Jared (bassist of blood hound gang)

5. Jamie Thomas (skater)

4. Phoenix

3. Bam Margera

2. Brad Delson

1. Rob Bourdon ( who else did you expect )

Phi

 

[Black_Angel]

Mmmm.. I wish I had cookies and fudge *salivates* XD

*Salivates even more at your hottest guys list O__O*

 

[Ravynlee]

Wow - you crack me up so much! Tossing the Xmas santa out the window - a classic idea! XD Bah-humbug I say. Xmas can go (delete expletive) itself. I have no cards to hand out to anyone and nor have I really started shopping yet. I just can't get in the mood. ****** it. With a bit of luck I'll just wake up on the Bahamas with Rob and Xmas will be over. Xmas with a Jew... ahhhh... that's almost funny. (no offense intended to Jews of LPF/in general. My SOH sux).

But the Algebra grades rock - or as we say, 'it bumps!' XD Congrats there. The posters issue - wish I could see it. Wish I could also see your aunt's face when she wakes up to the onslaught of Rob and LP each morning - ha ha (Nelson Muntz laugh) Glad to see Rob made number 1 on your list (funnily enough he's number one on mine too, go figure! XD). The story you penned below is good - but I must confess I'm lost as I haven't read Chobits nor know what they are, sorry. But sounds good so far... very 'I, Robot,' actually.

But doesn't rock as much as 'Half as Me.' That's just <3333. *awwww*

Getting out on your own, I understand that. I was thrown out after I turned 16 - that's when child support ran out for my parents from the government, so when the cashflow ended so did the need for me I guess. *shrug* I have to say it does force you to grow up very fast. In a lot of respects as mature as we all like to think we are at 16 we aren't. Life has a habit of shafting you in such unpleasant ways that come 26 you look back and wonder how in **** you managed to pull through - I know I did. I'm not lecturing anyone, least of all you Mel, cause I'd like to think we're friends . But as rough as it is at home hold out as long as you can. I regret the fact I never really had a childhood and being on my own at 16 I didn't have the usual fun that most teens go through - no parties, few friends, all that. I was focused on the more important things - getting a job (which was **** work for **** pay, cause at that age they can pay you less than mature aged counterparts for the same hours, which sucks) and having money so I could pay the rent, buy food and pay bills, heaven forbid anything else like having the Internet. Wasn't possible.

Your priorities change and your old friends will probably vow to help you now but as time goes on and you stop being as 'fun' as you used to be they'll get bored and move on. Or you will. That's a broad generalisation, as it happened to me - even happened to others I know. Maybe a global conspiracy we're not meant to talk about like the Roswell Incident or something. But it's something that's a lot of ppl don't consider before they move out. No one ever told me the truth about joining the real world (***, I know how condescending this sounds and I really don't mean to). It's lonely and stressful - and if you think you're feeling that way now at home, amplify that a few times... trust me. It's not fun. (But has it's upsides - decorating however you want, staying up as late/easting/watching/wearing what you want etc, and more privacy than you know what to do with! And, if you're like me and have a pretty kick-*** stereo system you can play your tunes loud too... unless your neighbours hate you in which case... well... Still, yay for all the good things!)

But, if you still want to and your mind is made up there is one factor that everything hinges upon - Money. Get a job before you get out if you can, and get a place near your job or public transport and be aware of the little things, safety, how dark/remote the street is, suss things out with a hyper-critical eye as if you were looking for one of your beloved younger siblings. That's all I'll say really, just... be 110% sure it's what you want. It probably won't solve the issues you have with your family and by being disassociated from them you'll probably just grow apart. That's when you'll miss the nagging sisters etc, and like SS1 said, one day you'll miss it when it's gone. You wont get it back.

Having said ALL that - I just hope things work out for you. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and that's a ****** good thing. Besides, if you move and can't afford the net for a bit, I in my unabashed selfishness shall miss you, and however shall LPF function without you??? *sobs wretchedly*

A little dramatic I know, but the sentiment is honest all the same.

Well there's prolly plenty more I could gab on about but in the fairness of things I shall shut up now so someone else can have a say on how badly I just mothered you. *blushes* Sorry bout that. This is where my 'Grandmotherly' instincts kick in. All you danged whipper-snappers are giving me grey hair from stress, not to mention wrinkles from laughing. I guess it's a trade off, then, huh?

Urg. My fingers are numb. Happens all the time. I need to stop typing now. Take care Phi and if you're not p*ssed at me for the above, then I shall talk to you later, as always. *squeeze hugs*

-Rav

 

[Pheonix791989]

aww thanks rav. your like the mom I never had. since my mom died when I was pretty little about six, I've been the one to kind of make sure that everything goes smoothly in the house. so I never really had anyone to talk to me like that. My brothers were well, jackoffs and my dad was a work-aholic so I never saw him much. I was always trying to be the perfect one in the family so I dare say that I failed miserably. but its good to have a friend like you to give me a good old fashioned talk to. but as far as the childhood thing goes, I'm not really sure that I had one. my mom died when I was eight so thats when the responsibility took over and my stepmom isnt exactly the best substitute that my dad hoped she would be. she never has nor ever will be my mom. I can tell you that my dad dosent care about me so If it wasnt for my sisters then I'd be gone. I'm getting my licens in a month so I can finally get a job. I mean i can understand when you say to hold onto the home but my home would be a pretty nice place if my dad was ever around and my stepmom wasnt so evil. My sisters are anoying to no end because they picked up my dads attitude and I'm am so close to smacking them for it. I cant stand it. but hey thanks.

phi