Please keep your clothes on.

[phreakwars]

First of all, your a picky ******* Johny, ***** is *****, your ****ing the hole, not the hair, and not the stretch marks.

If the bitch had kids and she gave them up, that tells me she is probably irresponsible and ... oh.. what's the word I want... FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE ??

So IMHO, she is probably nothing but a semen receptacle, do yourself a favor and make sure you pull out and squirt it all over her stomach, least you add to her colection of illigitimate bastards.

Don't call her damaged goods though, she may give you head at a later time.. Most bitches like to "CLAIM" they don't give head, but given the right mood they'll suck that popsicle like a wild bitch.

.
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[Jhony5]

Posted by Phreak:

So IMHO, she is probably nothing but a semen receptacle, do yourself a favor and make sure you pull out and squirt it all over her stomach, least you add to her colection of illigitimate bastards.

I thought about standing up for my climax and pissing on that sluts chest and proclaiming myself as Prince of Piss. Maybe donkey punch my **** right up her dry asshole and claim I couldn't tell which hole was pee-pee and which one was poo-poo.

First of all, your a picky ******* Johny, ***** is *****, your ****ing the hole, not the hair, and not the stretch marks.

Ya well I didn't want them to touch me. They were touching me. Now I'm gonna catch stretch marks. **** that. I don't want stretch marks.

Posted by Phantom:

I will one-up you yet again. Most people can make themselves climax. The trick is being able to please both partners at the same time.

So....uhhhh....your into threesomes aye? So how do you do that? You like blow one dude while the other dude/dudes drive it home from behind? Or is it a girl and a guy? Ohhhh two girls huh? Its very noble of you too come out and admit your philandering lesbianism and drunken orgies. Its always nice to get that off your chest.

 

[Phantom]

So....uhhhh....your into threesomes aye? So how do you do that? You like blow one dude while the other dude/dudes drive it home from behind? Or is it a girl and a guy? Ohhhh two girls huh? Its very noble of you too come out and admit your philandering lesbianism and drunken orgies. Its always nice to get that off your chest.

Oops. That came out wrong. I meant please your partner and yourself at the same time. Threesomes are Satanic.

 

[eddo]

TIP FOR THE MEN: Whatever you do, improve yourselves.

Holy ****. Men SUCK in bed!

Teach me the way of the woman. Please. please...




please? [/ploy for pity sex]

 

[Jhony5]

Oops. That came out wrong. I meant please your partner and yourself at the same time. Threesomes are Satanic.

Pfffft. So let me get this straight. You don't do threesomes AND you don't worship Satan. How ****ing boring can a chick get? I suppose you don't mainline heroin either?



Square!

 

[Ctrl]

I thought about standing up for my climax and pissing on that sluts chest and proclaiming myself as Prince of Piss.

Jumped a couple rungs there doncha think? I mean. Where did that come from? The worst thing you can think of? Or just the first that jumps to mind.

Maybe donkey punch my **** right up her dry asshole and claim I couldn't tell which hole was pee-pee and which one was poo-poo.

Someone needs to teach little Jhony how to type dirty. Guess all those jokes ARE actually about him. He doesn't know his donkey punch from his whitney midget prison rape. A donkey punch goes to the back of a womans head while ****ing her from behind. You don't "donkey punch [your] ****", unless you mean actually trying to punch the back of your ****... which has to look funny... you know... thick lenses and all... Someone you might expect to need a hug after the special olypmics race... but he is jumping around proclaiming himself the prince of piss. Really is a stunning landscape you paint.


Error: Minimum 25 posts required before you can use GF IM. <=------ not a fan

 

[Phantom]

Error: Minimum 25 posts required before you can use GF IM. <=------ not a fan

Oops. Is that little tidbit for me? Didn't know that. I will hold off on pagering you then.

 

[Jhony5]

Where did that come from? The worst thing you can think of? Or just the first that jumps to mind.

A little of both I suppose.

A donkey punch goes to the back of a womans head while ****ing her from behind.

So.....uhhhh I've been doing it wrong all these years????? GOD DAMMIT I SUCK!! Can't even donkey punch a lady correctly

 

[KathyA]

Error: Minimum 25 posts required before you can use GF IM. <=------ not a fan

You can always use the private message feature. And get cracking, this is no excuse. You should be beyond 25 comments at this point!

 

[smutt butt]

A little of both I suppose.

So.....uhhhh I've been doing it wrong all these years????? GOD DAMMIT I SUCK!! Can't even donkey punch a lady correctly

Try giving her a cleveland steamer.

 

[KathyA]

Try giving her a cleveland steamer.

Smutt, that boy needs no encouraging.

 

[smutt butt]

TIP FOR MEN: Stop envisioning sex as just another method of sticking your dick in something. Sex SHOULD be body worship. Almost spiritual. You're not just ****ing a woman's body- you are making love to her heart and mind.

This site is Off Topic Forum, right? Well, I'm ****ing pissed off! 99.9% of men are downright AWFUL in bed. I'm starting to think good sex is just a myth created by men to trick women into giving it up.

DON'T GET MAD: GET BETTER! Instead of going into a ****ing bitch fit because of this comment- think about how you are in bed. If you can actually handle taking this advice, your wives will love you and gasp maybe give it up to your pathetic ass more often!

NEWS FLASH: Women don't hate SEX. Women hate BAD SEX. HUGE difference. When a man does it right, we will be all over them. When you do it wrong (and you ALL do it wrong) don't expect your wife to be a little horny sex bunny. YOU ****ING SUCK IN BED. Read the Kama Sutra. Buy some videos. ****, take a sex therapy course. Whatever you do, improve yourselves.

Holy ****. Men SUCK in bed!

I want a quickie sometimes but then sometimes licking and kissing from head to toe is nice too.

I have "popped" 2 in my time. 1st one was my first at 14 so i'm sure it sucked.

The 2nd one i blew a trojan and later found out she got pregnant and had an abortion when i was out playing marine.

 

[smutt butt]

I made this thread for us to discuss the times you couldn't wait to get in the sack with someone you really liked. Only to be utterly disappointed by what you received. Either the physical appearance under their clothing or their performance in bed.

I bring this up because of an encounter I had last week with a really hot girl I met at work about 4 weeks ago. Shes 5'0 tall and prolly about 105 pounds. Only 24 years old with a baby face. Mmmmm! I got her number awhile back and finally we hooked up and went out on a date last week. Things went well and I played the part of gentlemen and didn't make a move.

The next day she was calling me asking if I wanted to come over and watch a movie and hang out. Which as we all know is a sure thing in the making. I couldn't wait. Well to get to the point once I got her tight little pants off I was greeted by the most horrific stretch marks I have ever seen. Her entire belly looked as if it had been severely burned. I didn't even know she had kids, so this too was running through my mind. So here I am, erection struggling to maintain, thinking of how horrifying her belly looked at the same time I'm trying to think why the hell she never said anything about having kids.

So off come her panties and EWWWW! So much hair down there I couldn't see the glory pot. A major turn off for me is excessive pubic hair. This bitch looked like she had Lionel Richie's head in her lap.

To make things even worse she doesn't even give head. I didn't know they made girls that didn't suck dick anymore. What kind of woman doesn't blow? Pathetic.

Turns out she gave her kids up to her parents a few years back. Which was definitely a huge ****ing turn off, relationship wise. So in closing, she had a physical hell hiding underneath her clothing and shes a shitty parent. Scratch that. Shes not even a good enough parent to even try and be a shitty parent. But damn she looked mighty good in them jeans.

I see your point but go to a full length mirror a strip. You might look like a chippendale i don't know (and don't want to know) but you might look like a hairy pot-bellied monkey!!

The no bj thing does suck esp. if you lick that thing.

 

[Ctrl]

Now I'm just humping your leg.

I haven't talked to a single woman who wasn't thoroughly disgusted with the loss of her virginity.

That says to me, it is gonna suck regardless, so why bother trying to meet an unrealistic ideal of what someone who hasn't done it thinks about it? I say it should look like arterial spray on the walls. Do for you, since she is gonna cry anyway.

TIP FOR MEN: Stop envisioning sex as just another method of sticking your dick in something. Sex SHOULD be body worship. Almost spiritual. You're not just ****ing a woman's body- you are making love to her heart and mind.

Bullshit. I'M ****ing a womans body, she is making love to my heart and mind. Why is her way best? Because it serves her. Serve yourself.

99.9% of men are downright AWFUL in bed.

You uh... had sex with... 99.9% percent of the men out there? I mean... in order to even arrive at that equation, you have to have had sex with at least 100... either that or 1/10th of a man. That would be about... ew. The only common thread amongst the men you have seen goodly enough to sleep with, is that you chose them. If 99.9% of the men you chose suck in bed, you are lookin for the wrong thing. You like the gentle thing in a monster. If you date monsters, you are gonna **** monsters. Once in a blue moon they will make your legs cease to function.

DON'T GET MAD: GET BETTER! Instead of going into a ****ing bitch fit because of this comment- think about how you are in bed. If you can actually handle taking this advice, your wives will love you and gasp maybe give it up to your pathetic ass more often!

I'm good... I am just arguing principal.

Holy ****. Men SUCK in bed!

No, YOUR men suck in bed.

 

[Phantom]

Finally! A worthy adversary that keeps me on my toes.

That says to me, it is gonna suck regardless, so why bother trying to meet an unrealistic ideal of what someone who hasn't done it thinks about it? I say it should look like arterial spray on the walls. Do for you, since she is gonna cry anyway.

We'll get to this further below.

Bullshit. I'M ****ing a womans body, she is making love to my heart and mind. Why is her way best? Because it serves her. Serve yourself.

Again, further below.

You uh... had sex with... 99.9% percent of the men out there? I mean... in order to even arrive at that equation, you have to have had sex with at least 100... either that or 1/10th of a man. That would be about... ew. The only common thread amongst the men you have seen goodly enough to sleep with, is that you chose them. If 99.9% of the men you chose suck in bed, you are lookin for the wrong thing. You like the gentle thing in a monster. If you date monsters, you are gonna **** monsters. Once in a blue moon they will make your legs cease to function.

I've had sex with almost 3.2 billion men. I think I know what I'm talking about.

Seriously though, I drew my conclusions from personal experience and the testimony of other women. So far, none of them have been very impressed... and I have personally interviewed over 1.2 billion women.

I'm good... I am just arguing principal.

Now we can get to the point. So you are saying you are good yet you "believe in doing for yourself," "serving yourself," and ignoring the "heart and mind" aspects of physical intercourse. Oh ya, you are quality sex material.

No, YOUR men suck in bed.

And approximtately 99.9% of the others. I thought you were paying attention.

 

[Ctrl]

Never good enough, is not the same as "not good". Never finding satiation is your job as I see it. Constantly walking the line between aroused and annoyed is what you are going to do, regardless. If you were that great, you wouldn't seek us. You are NEVER sated, you are NEVER done right, that is the point. If there is NOTHING BUT FAILURE PRESUMED... I aim to please. I can work at it, and get marginally better, but still always lose. Second is only the first loser. If I can't POSSIBLY win... if I am facing odds like 1 in 6.5 billion... I have lost my impitus to try. Instead Imma get my rock off.

That being said...

That is how I treat you, because of the way you frame me. Some women can be won, and for them, I am everything you think you want. I am what drives your hands to grasp at invisible strands in the air until you find something tangible to grip. I am that which keeps you from hearing your own noises of passion because the blood is pulsing so loudly through your ears it leaves a piercing ring. I am that which justifies the hunger that never sates.

It is all in how you frame me. The most selfish of the selfless.

 

[Phantom]

That is how I treat you, because of the way you frame me. Some women can be won, and for them, I am everything you think you want. I am what drives your hands to grasp at invisible strands in the air until you find something tangible to grip. I am that which keeps you from hearing your own noises of passion because the blood is pulsing so loudly through your ears it leaves a piercing ring. I am that which justifies the hunger that never sates.

It is all in how you frame me. The most selfish of the selfless.

Poetry! Pure poetry! Beautiful, man. sheds a tear

 

[atlantic]

Never good enough, is not the same as "not good". Never finding satiation is your job as I see it. Constantly walking the line between aroused and annoyed is what you are going to do, regardless. If you were that great, you wouldn't seek us. You are NEVER sated, you are NEVER done right, that is the point. If there is NOTHING BUT FAILURE PRESUMED... I aim to please. I can work at it, and get marginally better, but still always lose. Second is only the first loser. If I can't POSSIBLY win... if I am facing odds like 1 in 6.5 billion... I have lost my impitus to try. Instead Imma get my rock off.

That being said...

That is how I treat you, because of the way you frame me. Some women can be won, and for them, I am everything you think you want. I am what drives your hands to grasp at invisible strands in the air until you find something tangible to grip. I am that which keeps you from hearing your own noises of passion because the blood is pulsing so loudly through your ears it leaves a piercing ring. I am that which justifies the hunger that never sates.

It is all in how you frame me. The most selfish of the selfless.

.... and we have a WINNER

 

[hugo]

I think the real key is for the man to start on the woman 10 to 15 minutes before she starts on him.

 

[Phantom]

.... and we have a WINNER

Bitch! I never lose. I just get bored.