Jhony5- Listen...Please.
I'm not calling you a **** and I UNDERSTAND your situation more than you realize.
Me:
I got married one time "For Life". She got married for fun and is now on #4.
I had children because I wanted them. She had children for reasons I cannot even fathom or understand.
She had the children after she tossed me out like a used paper towel. Then about 3 months later, she shows up at 9pm on a Friday night and says "I don't want this anymore". I took my 2 oldest boys and she insisted on keeping the littlest one who was only months old.
I made a home. I was Super Dad to the best of my ability. Years went by like this. I always took my little son with me and his older brothers on my weekends. She always had a reason why she couldn't take them on hers. I gave her the bank account, the cars, the house, everything. I gave her money each month. She gave nothing to the 2 older sons who were with me.
Then, she decided to marry #3. They were like fire and gasoline. They insisted that the boys be "reunited" and that she was now stable enough to be "Mom". I resisted to the highest degree, but she worked and worked on me until I gave in. I did not wish to deny her the ability to be the mother to all 3 boys, so I relented.
I also paid HUGE child support voluntarily each month, like clockwork. She always wanted more and more money, until one day, I said, no more increase in CASH. Give me a list of items they need, and I will buy it. She did, and I did. Thousands of dollars of clothes, toys, bikes, backpacks, school supplies, season passes to Disneyland, Sea Word, the Zoo, The Wild Animal Park, everything.
Then, she and the ******* began hitting each other in front of the kids and they both started drinking like the dirty rotten skunks they were. Their fighting escalated into further violence. I watched my sons slip into school problems, depression, terrible sleep habits, poor hygiene, and the works...all because they were living in A ******* WAR ZONE!!! Just like your daughter has and will again when asswipe gets out of jail.
So, one day, as cold and as calculated as a 500 pound bomb, I said "Give them back voluntarily or I'll bury you in court so deep your mother won't recognize the corpse". She gave them back, all of them.
We lived in California for 2+ years as a happy family, Mr. Mom and the boys. She continued to live with asswipe and stay married, and they beat the **** out of each other and drank themselves silly. Many many many times they didn't show or called off on taking the boys for their every other weekend jaunt until the boys no longer even wanted to go there at all.
We then sold our house and moved away to Ohio and here we are. For the time that they have been with me, almost 4 years, not one dime in support has come from their mother.
The mother eventually divorced asswipe. Their divorce was finalized on a Friday, and she married one of asswipes' old shipmates from the Navy on the following Tuesday, but then of course, she had been ******** him for quite some time while asswipe was at sea and at Diego Garcia. Nice...
So now, she has been out twice to see us. I pay for the tickets. She stays, she behaves herself, and she leaves. I took the children to California this summer to visit her and Mr. Frodo (the new husband, who is actually a really nice guy but a bit blind to my ex's real ways) for 8 weeks. It was okay, but I think next year, she'll come out here and stay with us because Mr. Frodo will be at sea.
She called me a few days ago crying and telling me how sad she is. How much she loved me and was sorry...blah blah blah. I told her that is was cool, and that I loved her from arms length and that if it doesn't work out with her and Mr. Frodo, to come to Ohio and I would get her setup in her own place and she could be around the boys more. We'll see.
Point of my story is this.
The truly insignificant "trauma" of removing your daughter from her mother's day to day care will QUICKLY vanish in the abundant joy of a peaceful, stable, loving environment you will and MUST provide for her. Now!
