The Oracle ! !

fullauto

New member
Very true. Why do people waste so much money on these so-called technological advances that the media has convinced us we need?
It's simplicity itself to boil an egg to perfection without costly eggtimers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, you just phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

Piece of ****.
The Oracle is briefly reminded of that scene is 'Saving Private Ryan', when Capt Miller informs Cpl Umpem that he will be escorting his company on a dangerous mission to find the soul survivor of 4 brothers as a translator... After some vague attempt at slap stick humour, Cpl Umpem asks if he can take his big, heavy Type-writer... Capt Miller just smiles, and holds up a 3 inch pencil weighing in at no more than 8 Grams! LOL....

Choice...

28 lb Typewriter - big, heavy, bulky, writes Words...

- or -

8 gram pencil - small, light, easily replaced, does same ****!

Talk about tech dependent...

 

Tex

New member
This ain't a question but it might interest you.

There was a story going around that the USA spent millions developing a pen that would write in zero-gravity for the space program.

The Russians used a pencil.

This is another bullshit urban myth. A pencil was ruled out by both nations because the graphite would've ****** up all the electronics as it wore away and drifted around the capsule.

 

OmegaManiac

New member
Why do people spend a fortune on expensive paper shredders to avoid having their identities stolen, when they could simply put a few fresh dog turds in the garbage bag with their bank statements?
One word......"wood ******* stove"

 

fullauto

New member
Oh great Oracle! Why does a cold beer on a hot day taste so **** good?
On a hot day, your body craves sodium to help retain water! that, coupled with lowering your core temp, makes you sweat less! You actually get hotter after a while, but you feel less 'icky' for about 1/2 hour, then you drink another! By your 4th beer, you don't give a **** how hot it is!

WHHHOOOOOoooooooosh........

 

snafu

New member
Oh the great Oracle of Enki!

I bow before your humble presence.

I hate to bother to as I know you are very busy.

But could you answer me this...

Why dose **** stink?

And if it smells so bad, why would so many people taste it?

Which brings me to my main question. Why does everything bad taste like ****?

 

fullauto

New member
Oh the great Oracle of Enki! I bow before your humble presence. Not to bother to much as I know you are very busy. could you answer me this...

Why dose **** stink?
1/3 of **** is the dead corpses of bacteria, and other indigestible stuff such as sulfur compounds and hydrogen sulfide! That's where the stink comes from!

And if it smells so bad why has so many people tasted it?
anyone who doesn't have enough sense to disregard their own feces should be shot on site in an attempt to keep them from polluting the gene pool!

there are many reasons why people taste feces or why feces is used by humans... two of the stranger reasons are as follows...

1. Roman Headman Hadrian was shocked and frightened both when he was given accounts of strange white people in now England who smeared themselves in **** and ran directly into battle naked with nothing more than a broad axe! They are now called Berzerkers... But the desired effect was spot on! The Roman legions at the sight of these protohumans were scared beyond belief and in many cases, refused to fight them! After all, any man who would bathe in ****, and run into battle naked cares little for his own life, and chances are even less for yours!

2. A strange new thing, I think, is a sexual fetish called German scat, or Schei

 

ImWithStupid

New member
1. Roman Headman Hadrian was shocked and frightened both when he was given accounts of strange white people in now England who smeared themselves in **** and ran directly into battle naked with nothing more than a broad axe! They are now called Berzerkers... But the desired effect was spot on! The Roman legions at the sight of these protohumans were scared beyond belief and in many cases, refused to fight them! After all, any man who would bathe in ****, and run into battle naked cares little for his own life, and chances are even less for yours!
Did you mean that the berserkers are white people that are now in England or did you mean they were in England when the Romans had contact with them.

I'm asking because the Berserker were actually Norse Warriors.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserker

As far as whether they ended up in England, I don't know about that. I just know they are originally from Scandinavia.

 
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