When is it an affair

[tiredofwhiners]

Let say your out drinking, in town or out. You start talking to a lady either someone you know, or someone you just met. One thing leads to another and some tonsil hockey gets going. Goes no farther than the lips.

Would this be an affair?
Should spouse be real pissed?
Would this be divorce worthy?

 

[sixes]

Let say your out drinking, in town or out. You start talking to a lady either someone you know, or someone you just met. One thing leads to another and some tonsil hockey gets going. Goes no farther than the lips.

Would this be an affair?
Should spouse be real pissed?
Would this be divorce worthy?

Trick question ,a spouse is always pissed ,only sometimes they are not showing it.

 

[angie]

Would I be pissed? You bet.
Divorce worthy? No. But you bet your ass I'd be keeping a close eye on what he was doing after that.
I don't know if this would be considered an 'affair'. That word usually implies a long-term sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse.

 

[babiebec3]

If you're married and you're swapping spit with someone else, then there's something wrong. Nuff said.

 

[sixes]

If you're married and you're swapping spit with someone else, then there's something wrong. Nuff said.

I don't agree ,some people are very happy with a marriage that has other sexual partners. You are wrong.

 

[manicmonday]

I don't think it's divorce worthy, but it's a symptom of larger issues. While finding some one else attractive isn't wrong, acting on it is. Putting yourself in the situation to be making out with some one is a dangerous slope in any relationship. It's cheating whether it's an affair or not.

While there are relationships that allow this swapping spit with other partners Sixes, this is not the scenerio. Correct me if I'm wrong TOW, but I believe you were talking about couples who didn't have this arrangement.

 

[snafu]

If your spouse is making out with someone else it means they have other desires and can only lead into trouble.
Hell yes I’d be pissed if I found out my wife was swapin spit with someone else.
Would I divorce her? Depends on how, why, who and will it happen again.
An affair is like angie said. It's a long term thing and would be more than kissing.

 

[Lethalfind]

I don' t think this alone is divorce worth (at least not for myself), it would depend on how many times this had happened before. Its definetly not something I would be OK with and I'm with Ang, I would be keeping an eagle eye on everything he did after that. Once that trust is gone its hard to get back. I would be wondering if things didn't go farther because they were interupted or something.
Whats the point in being married if you don't care who or what your partner does sexually?

 

[skategreen]

Let say your out drinking, in town or out. You start talking to a lady either someone you know, or someone you just met. One thing leads to another and some tonsil hockey gets going. Goes no farther than the lips.

Would this be an affair?
Should spouse be real pissed?
Would this be divorce worthy?

I think it depends on the relationship. In some I've had.... I'd just be pissed. In others, it'd be time to go into the roadhouse business.

he hits the road, she gets the house.

 

[Gallytuck]

Would I be pissed? You bet.
Divorce worthy? No. But you bet your ass I'd be keeping a close eye on what he was doing after that.
I don't know if this would be considered an 'affair'. That word usually implies a long-term sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse.

Ha ha. That's some funny ****. This is why women will never dominate the world. Here's a little insight: Nine out of ten dentists confess to having extramarital affairs with their hygenists/receptionists simply because they could get away with it. If he really loves you he'll keep his own arse in line. There are a lot of men out there who don't realise they want something more.

If it's an open marriage then this shouldn't even be an issue.

To aid a potential heart-hurting, have your man go down on ya before he goes out. That way, if you find out he was out slipping his tongue into another woman's mouth you can at least feel a bit of revenge because she was tasting more than his Listerine strip. Unless she's bi. Then she wins double.

 

[sixes]

I think it depends on the relationship. In some I've had.... I'd just be pissed. In others, it'd be time to go into the roadhouse business.

he hits the road, she gets the house.

Are you a golddigger skate?

 

[Lethalfind]

I've been married twice, both of the gold diggers, one of them said it too my face he married me for the money he thought he could get out of my Dad for his business and to buy us a house.

My second husband was dumb enough to write about his plans in his emails to friends so when I suspected him of having an affair and hacked into his email I found out that the affair was the least of what I needed to be worried about...
I know how to pick winners...which is why I don't play the game anymore.

To me, an affair goes on for sometime...not just a chance encounter in a parking lot. Even if my mate had slept with this person I won't think I would call it an affair, I would be pissed as hell.

 

[atlantic]

Let say your out drinking, in town or out. You start talking to a lady either someone you know, or someone you just met. One thing leads to another and some tonsil hockey gets going. Goes no farther than the lips.

Would this be an affair?
Should spouse be real pissed?
Would this be divorce worthy?

NO, NO, NO! ; but my b/f would say YES, YES, YES!

 

[tiredofwhiners]

I don't think it's divorce worthy, but it's a symptom of larger issues. While finding some one else attractive isn't wrong, acting on it is. Putting yourself in the situation to be making out with some one is a dangerous slope in any relationship. It's cheating whether it's an affair or not.

While there are relationships that allow this swapping spit with other partners Sixes, this is not the scenerio. Correct me if I'm wrong TOW, but I believe you were talking about couples who didn't have this arrangement.

No arrangement! Was a stupid drunk thing, in a differant town, one time.

 

[skategreen]

Are you a golddigger skate?

No Sixes... and if you could fast forward through my life, you'd see just how damn funny of a question this is....

I grab with gusto any opportunity to use one of my Dad's pet phrases. Lord love him, he was a man of coined and borrowed phrases - oh how I miss him!

I remember various times, he'd come home..."guess who's goin into the roadhouse business?" ... and he'd tell Mum about whoever he'd heard were divorcing. or ... in conversation... " that was right before they went into the roadhouse business".

It's merely an expression ... one I hold dear.

Play cards with me someday...and eventually I'll come out with another favorite - a curse of frustration... "Dirty Old Man With a Crutch!!"

Oh how I wish I could question him..."Dad, how the Hell did you come up with that one?" or... where'd ya get it from?

Stories...left untold.

 

[phreakwars]

No arrangement! Was a stupid drunk thing, in a differant town, one time.

Happened to me once too. Was at Little Bo's a couple years back, both of us trashed as hell, was there with my ex, hanging out as usual. Don't know why, it just did. I DID however, feel guilty about it, and even confessed to my wife what had taken place. It was a touchy situation because the girl was my ex before my wife (see gallery photo), and I have known her for about 15 years now, grew up with her in Schuyler. And this girl was, is, and probably will always remain the only ex I ever had that my wife feels threatened by, because of our relationship. But, it's hard as hell to know someone for so many ****ing years, have a past with them, still be the best of friends, and remain 100% platonic. For me anyways, it for sure is 99% platonic.

I don't believe "JUST FRIENDS" is possible. I know it, she knows it, my wife knows it. There was basically only one real option. Just let each other live our separate lives. Oh not 100%, we talk often on the phone, and video conference back and forth, and I still go hang out with her a couple times a year. She has a baby of her own now, a steady boyfriend... So we figure its just double the fun to piss off both my wife and her boyfriend by hanging out with each other for 1/2 the day a couple times out of the year.

What do we do with our time together ??? Whatever the hell we feel like !!

I don't think THAT would classify as an affair though. We never **** around with each other, and we have brushed off the bar incident as one of those things that happened.
.
.

 

[Ahhlee]

I wouldn't consider it an affair and I wouldn't get a divorce over a kiss, but I wouldn't like that it happened. An isolated incident of kissing isn't the end of the world.

BUT if he's making a recreational sport of playing tonsil hockey with every Susie, Mary and Jane he encounters THEN it's go time.

 

[Gallytuck]

I wouldn't consider it an affair and I wouldn't get a divorce over a kiss, but I wouldn't like that it happened. An isolated incident of kissing isn't the end of the world.

BUT if he's making a recreational sport of playing tonsil hockey with every Susie, Mary and Jane he encounters THEN it's go time.

Men don't kiss women because it's romantic. Men kiss women because it's a natural prelude to sticking your dick in it. If a man kisses a woman(don't bother with the jokes, I think we've established the context in this post) you can bet your knitting needles he's willin' to take it as far as she'll allow.

 

[Lethalfind]

Men don't kiss women because it's romantic. Men kiss women because it's a natural prelude to sticking your dick in it. If a man kisses a woman(don't bother with the jokes, I think we've established the context in this post) you can bet your knitting needles he's willin' to take it as far as she'll allow.

To be honest thats what I was thinking when I first read this thread...as in did it stop at kissing out of chance rather then design...

 

[Gallytuck]

I'm not sure how it works for broads, if you're satisfied just to kiss another man or whatever. But it's the intent which makes in an issue. Whether you're slapping your balls up against another woman's arse or sucking the tongue out of another man fully-clothed it's the fact that you're there to enjoy yourself in a way which you've previously reserved for your partner because that's what a relationship is about which is the real killer.

Look, if you're in a serious relationship or married then your intimacy is strictly for your partner. If you're in an "open relationship" then you're not really in a traditional relationship at all. And that really works for some people. It's like living with a best friend who you can **** but with the opportunity and permission to **** others. If they're happy with that then I'm happy.

Anyway, I'm about to rant here so I'll cut it short.

If you're in a serious relationship then ALL intimacy is reserved for your partner. And theirs for you. If you betray that in any way then you need to reevaluate your relationship. If your partner can't please you and please you with a mutually-acceptable frequency then you'd best look elsewhere. Sex is not the only part of a relationship but the part it plays, whatever its size, serves a very important ****ing function.