She's trying to mother me and I hate it! I don't mind it when Rav/Tia/Tabitha mothers me (despite the fact that Tabitha's my age) cos they are both older than me and know better! But she's my landlady not my mother! I hate her!
It's funny, almost everyone at some point are peddling their own advice and good intentions, it's up to you to stand firm by your own convictions. The problem with saying that is that yes by general standards you are young (compared to me) and you still have a lot of growing up in the bigger picture of the world yet to do. Yes you can't do that until you're out there living it, so yes, it's a big step, and yes you're going to make mistakes, and yes people who have all been there and done that will try and tell you how to do it thinking thay're saving you when you really won't learn unless you do it and screw up and learn from your own mistakes.
NOW having said all that, there are a few exceptions to the rule. Always are. As friends we feel this unspoken sense of duty to shield you regardless what it is you want. Annoying yes, but again, done with the best of intentions. This thing about Daniel, while I've heard all the arguments, and while you've heard mine, doesn't change my opinion, and I know it's something you have to do to learn from. It's not easy, and again I realise having everyone come at you telling you how bad he is etc only makes you more determined to make up your own mind and live your life for you. So be it. But when you do this understand the choices we make define who we are and what we will become in the future.
Sure, you're saving money now, that's great, but what if the cost is say 2 years down the track you fight, you break up, and suddenly you realise you've been so hurt you can't appreciate the old things you once used to. Yes it's a matter of growing up, you change, your tastes change, your choice in friends change, etc, but rememember everytime you interract with anyone you give them part of yourself and you take away part of them too. If you surround yourself with negativity to save yourself a few dollars, then don't be surprised you don't save much of either in the long run
As for your mum, seriously, I get where she's coming from. I don't necesarily 'side' with her or her tactics, but she's a mum and mum's get insanely protective to the point sometimes reason gets overshadowed. Really, while I think she might be going around thinsg the wrong way, she may feel after all this time she's given up, that you're making choices she can see will end badly, and she doesn't want to keep going around in circles with you.
You forget, just because we are older, your mother and landlady (I assume) and myself, plus your siblings etc, we act like we know it all. The point is Sarah we don't know it all, but we do know a lot more than you give us credit. It's not a badge of honour. We used to be your age once too (oh memories), and people unfortunately are all alike in many respects. We've dealt with people that we wished we hadn't and so when we see someone we care about making our mistakes it gets personal for us. You look at your mum and me like the enemy. Like know-it-alls. We aren't. But we've got several more years life experience on you, and even young people with hard lives still don't know it all because there's things that come with age you don't get until you're in the moment.
Again, I don't mean to sound in any way condecending, but you have to realise this thing with Daniel is about as much a sore point to me as it sounds to be your mother. We've discussed why. And no amount of saying
'I can make my own decisions, you just have to get over it' is going to change that. Bottom line, I as your friend won't 'get over it.' You deserve better than you get and you chose that life and those consequences for yourself. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting watching someone you care about as a friend (or family member) continually ******** up and having to be there to pick up the pieces. Especially when they keep asking for advice and never apear to take any of it. Try to see things from everyone's perspective where you can, not just stubbornly your own.
You don't have to and never should make your opinions based on what others think, but if the external turmoil of having everyone around you that you care about making your life harder than you feel it needs to be, then maybe that should give you some indication that we're not just being nosey and trying to tell you what to do, but that there might be something true to what we're saying. You may argue
"The whole world can't be wrong right? You don't know Daniel because...(insert whatever reason or great memory or justification here)" Yeah well, the world is full of Daniels, deary.
You'll have to accept
that. Leopards don't change their spots, promises aside or not. But you know all this. We've talked abou this. Being with him as a girlfriend or just a housemate still keeps that tension in your life. That's fine in social circles but on a day-to-day basis... well... Now we are going around in circles yet again, so I'll stop about that. Again. Haha. Can't help myself can I?
Anyway, after all that, I don't know what else can be said. It's hard to appreciate someone Ive never met and only heard disparaging things about everytime you get frustrated with him. Seeing as how all our discussions over him lately are how mean or apathetic he is to you, then when I tell you what I think you defend him, maybe talking about him isn't such a smart idea. Vent by all means, but you know what I am trying to say. Hopefully.
After all these years of chatting online and the loooong phone convos
and texting and so on I think we're pretty good as friends. That's why I say what I say. Not to preach but to show you, just because it seems like the world is against you sometimes, doesn't mean it really is.
So with that rant over, let me just congratulate you on your recent positive push to eat better etc. It's time you start influencing
me in that score, I'm a lazy ***! Hope that works well for ya, your health has been suffering lately. Stress as well. Maybe this will help you even in a physical sense. Smart move. And congrats on rent reduction. Wish I could catch a break there *pouts*
Take care *hugs* Good luck with it all in general. You deserve to be happy. Help yourself, 'eh? :friends:
Maybe catch up later usual place, usual time. Awesomestness.
Oh and should have said sth like RANT ALERT AHEAD at the top of the post but meh, you know what I'm like by now. I only really rant when I'm passionate about something. So I may not be running off at the mouth so much over dear Rob these days, I still rant when I have to