Dating advice

[Ahhlee]

I am and she knows my theory. Like I said it's a sliding scale. Many levels of crazy and *****.

I'd love to hear you elaborate on your theory.

 

[RoyalOrleans]

I am and she knows my theory. Like I said it's a sliding scale. Many levels of crazy and *****.

With each graduation on the scale I utilize, there are names for the differentiating "Crazy" and "*****".

My personal favorite is the Saturday Night Club *****/Sunday Morning Repenter.

 

[eisanbt]

I'm also a supporter of "Don't date". First on the list of priorities is being happily single; a partner should be the cherry on the cake, but not the cake itself if you catch my meaning. I find with conventional-dating there is the "We're tying to attract one another" element which leads folks to, with or without intention, alter their personality and habits with the aim of getting into the other persons pants, poetically speaking. With this in mind, I take few crushes seriously, and I'm never 'on the hunt'.

Sight crushes are a common enough occurrence that I'm am always cautious not to give them much weight, or emotional investment, as history has shown time and again that I don't really sync with so many people as my impulses may lead me to believe.ERGO I advise remaining somewhat on guard against this silly compulsion. Time has always been the best measure of my compatibility with another in my books. Even then I keep my attachment to them at arm's length. I've found that if a relationship is genuinely a good pursuit for me and another, then it just arises organically (meaning 'on its own, through natural process). This approach has landed me fewer relationships then some, but none of them were at all regrettable, or dramatic, or destructive. Key in all this though is that you are not relying on a relationship for any of your base satisfaction with life (or relying on it at all!). My relationships have always arose well, carried on well, and ended in kind. I attribute this, in contrasting with crushes in my earlier days, to my 'pickiness' as it were which, as you may guess, I think of more as a recognition/ knowledge of what really works well for me, and not where libido, loneliness, or any of those other misleading things might drive me to go.

Know yourself.

Know what works for you.

Ignore Convention.

Cut out the ****.

Of course, if its some good old sexy times that your after then, yah. Play safe and get 'er done.

 

[Ahhlee]

I think crushes are great. They're harmless, inspiring, fun, exciting and satisfying because the object one is crushing on is often far away or someone you will likely never meet so you don't have the annoyance of listening to them snore or having to pick up their dirty underwear of the floor for the 100th time.

Real relationships require patience, compromise, more patience, sacrifice, teamwork, and did I mention patience? It's worth it when you find the right person but if they aren't what you are looking for longterm then.....meh.

 

[ImWithStupid]

I think crushes are great. They're harmless, inspiring, fun, exciting and satisfying because the object one is crushing on is often far away or someone you will likely never meet so you don't have the annoyance of listening to them snore or having to pick up their dirty underwear of the floor for the 100th time.
Real relationships require patience, compromise, more patience, sacrifice, teamwork, and did I mention patience? It's worth it when you find the right person but if they aren't what you are looking for longterm then.....meh.

I agree, without all the unnecessary, wording that eisanbt used, as far as when it comes to a "relationship", letting nature take its course and the best ones are the ones that you aren't looking for, but as far as a crush and/or flirting online, or even just a fling to have some fun between serious things or whatever. Go for it, have fun and keep it on your own terms and you won't be hurt or have a bad ending as long as both parties are on the same page.

 

[Ahhlee]

Here is my "sliding scale" since you guys won't share yours:

1) Oh my ***! Marry me!

2) I enjoy you and having *** with you. I will consider a longterm commitment but I'm not so sure....

3) Want to be frequent *** buddies?

4) Want to be occasional *** buddies?

5) Want to be a rare, last ditch effort booty call?

6) I dunno....you seem like a nice enough guy and the last few dates have been great, but I know this isn't going anywhere. I may consider giving you a handjob for your time.

7) You're fun! Let's hang out but not make out.

8) My furnace went out, could you repair it for me?

9) UPS guy - he's cool

10) Do I know you?

11) Listen buddy, I have no idea who you are or what your problem is but stop taking dumps on my lawn or I'm calling the cops!!!!

12) Drew Peterson

13) You're a politician? Ewwwww.....

 

[ImWithStupid]

Mine's easy. Women fall somewhere between, barely noticible, crazy on one end and completely bat , Alex Forrest, crazy on the other.

And if you think you met one that isn't crazy, you just haven't known 'em long enough to see it.

 

[Ahhlee]

Mine's easy. Women fall somewhere between, barely noticible, crazy on one end and completely bat , Alex Forrest, crazy on the other.
And if you think you met one that isn't crazy, you just haven't known 'em long enough to see it.

Consider, just for a moment, that with all of these crazy women that you have encountered the common factor is YOU.

 

[eddo]

On Ali's list I often get #7. quickly followed by #8. (occasionally a #11 will pop up too...)

My list:

1- Breathing.

2- Breathing with assistance.

3- No Breathing.

Maybe I am too picky???

 

[Ahhlee]

On Ali's list I often get #7. quickly followed by #8. (occasionally a #11 will pop up too...)

My list:

1- Breathing.

2- Breathing with assistance.

3- No Breathing.

Maybe I am too picky???

I really think you need to lower your standards and stop pooping on other people's lawns.

 

[ToriAllen]

You people seem like you may know a little something about the opposite ***, so please to offer up some dating advice....

Who should pay? The guy. I spent three more hours getting ready than he did...

Get your drink on or stay sober? A drink or two is probably fine, but I wouldn't get table dancing drunk

Wear panties or leave them at home? Always wear panties, especially with a skirt. For sanitary reasons if nothing else

Kiss or no kiss? Yes, if the guy is hot, otherwise no

Have wild, crazy *** on his pool table? Yes, if the guy is really hot, otherwise no

play hard to get? There is always time for that later

 

[Ahhlee]

Who should pay? The guy. I spent three more hours getting ready than he did...

I like that theory!

 

[ToriAllen]

8) My furnace went out, could you repair it for me?
.....

That could be taken in a different way and raised on the scale a bit...

And if you think you met one that isn't crazy, you just haven't known 'em long enough to see it.

Completely sane people are boring.

 

[eisanbt]

I like that theory!

If you spent 3 hours getting ready for a date with me then chances are I wouldn't be calling you back anyhow;

"Oh what a sweet offer, its good to get rid of this patriarchal conventions. Way to empower yourself!" tee hee hee

 

[snafu]

If you spent 3 hours getting ready for a date with me then chances are I wouldn't be calling you back anyhow;"Oh what a sweet offer, its good to get rid of this patriarchal conventions. Way to empower yourself!" tee hee hee

That's why some men go to bed with a beauty queen and wake up with a circus clown. All that make up melts away during the night.

 

[Ahhlee]

If you spent 3 hours getting ready for a date with me then chances are I wouldn't be calling you back anyhow;"Oh what a sweet offer, its good to get rid of this patriarchal conventions. Way to empower yourself!" tee hee hee

Oh come on now. Let's break this 3 hours down before you judge too harshly....

1/2 hr - shower, shave, loofah, lotion and all that ****. If we showed up looking and smelling like a grizzly bear, I don't think you'd be too impressed.

1/2 hr - straightening or curling and pinning up hair (add an extra 1/2 hr if the hair is really thick). Not all of us are blessed with the luxury of waking up with perfect hair every morning. That full, flowing "natural" looking hair that you guys see on magazine models is NOT natural. I promise you.

15 minutes - makeup.

1 hr - calling 3 of your girlfriends and asking them what you should wear because you're nervous. Fingernails and toenails are often painted at this time as well.

45 minutes - trying on 7 different outfits and shoes before you find the look you think is "just right".

If you're taking a girl for a walk in the park or 4-wheeling, most likely she won't go through this much trouble but if it's a first date at a nice restaurant, odds are the 3 hour prep is pretty standard.

 

[eisanbt]

1/2 hr - shower, shave, loofah, lotion and all that ****. If we showed up looking and smelling like a grizzly bear, I don't think you'd be too impressed.

Perfumey **** is a big turn off, at this point it makes me nauseous (as I haven't been subjected to it daily since I was in high school)

1/2 hr - straightening or curling and pinning up hair (add an extra 1/2 hr if the hair is really thick). Not all of us are blessed with the luxury of waking up with perfect hair every morning. That full, flowing "natural" looking hair that you guys see on magazine models is NOT natural. I promise you.

Pat it down and put on a grin (as a number of highly attractive folk I know do). I find people more attractive then magazine covers, but maybe thats just me....

15 minutes - makeup.

Some look nice with makeup, but I generally find it a turn off. As above, its like looking at the magazine; glossy, fake, covered in chemicals-> none of those things turn me on.

1 hr - calling 3 of your girlfriends and asking them what you should wear because you're nervous. Fingernails and toenails are often painted at this time as well.

I despise phones! Those who stick to them don't have much chance at getting in my pants.

45 minutes - trying on 7 different outfits and shoes before you find the look you think is "just right".

Pants, skirt, t-shirt, whatever; So long as it suits you. People make for better company when they're comfortable just being themselves. Let the musicians put on the show, I'm want to spend time with you.

If you're taking a girl for a walk in the park or 4-wheeling, most likely she won't go through this much trouble but if it's a first date at a nice restaurant, odds are the 3 hour prep is pretty standard.

I've done the nice restaurant deal, and I've always found it a lot like a greeting card; a mildly entertaining gesture that says 'I'm willing to spend money on you to show my affection" more then a genuine recipe for romance.

Let's drink Schnapps and Tango around the kitchen awhile making some tasty eats together. Go climb some trees or swing on swings (the simple funs never die). Movies are ok, scavenger hunts are better! Shows can be fun, but forget the fancy shoes and just bring some good socks to twist in. Sailing, swimming, hiking, people watching (with coffee coffee coffee).

Dressing 'Up' can be neat, but I'd never want someone to feel obliged to. I'm not going to do it, and I expect/ want no more from those who catch my fancy. Obviously my attraction is based on more then just conventional aesthetic (I imagine the same is for most folk) so to summarize; a genuine, bent-tooth smile and a dirty pair of blue jeans turns my crank a helluva lot more then store bought hair and the shortest skirt.

 

[eddo]

45 minutes - trying on 7 different outfits and shoes before you find the look you think is "just right".

Answering the door naked would certainly help the prospects for the 2nd date.

 

[Ahhlee]

Well ****. Apparently the "just rolled out of bed" look is the way to win a man's heart.

Who knew?

 

[Old Salt]

Actually, I like the "natural look", too.

Daughter keeps layering on make-up before she goes out. I keep telling her she's a very pretty girl and doesn't need all that **** that makes her look like a middle-aged hooker.