Ravyn's Journal
- Thread starter Ravynlee
- Start date
Pheonix791989
New member
I dont know whos older, me or woody?
Pheonix791989
New member
w00t, but as long as I'm still daddy's lil drummer girl its all good
Ravynlee
New member
Nah, it's all good Viking, I'm over that now. Uh-hu. *raises a sceptical eyebrow*
Real post henceforth;
(but remember, you asked for it, by the end of my usual ranting session I bet you'll be begging to go back to Rob, chocolate and... other unmentionables... *laughs*)
Okay. Well, another day over. A new one's just begun. About to get sued for plagerising John Lennon's lyrics if I'm not careful, but at least it's still the appropriate time of year for such a song, right? Yeahhh.
I was talking to Jammer today. *groan* *** help me, I feel like I'm losing the plot when it comes to talking to that girl. Ever just wanna choke someone and embrace them at the same time? She's my friend but everytime I see her lately I just wanna simultaneously hurt and help her. A weird predicament to be in really. She's having man troubles again (when isn't she?) and to be honest, living the carefree celibate lifestyle I lead, I don't much care for the way she rubs her sexual exploits in my face. If she wants to behave like a feral alley cat on heat, go right ahead. Only issue is, besides the fact I constantly worry about the respercussions to her (she'll get hurt, and she's bound to eventually), is that the people we both know are coming to me at work with stories that paint her in a not-so-flattering light. I almost start feeling embarrassed at times, and it's not like I can share such concerns with her. She's way too sensative and she cries at the drop of a hat. I say that with a degree of hostility because I was raised in an environment that discouraged crying and saw it as a sign of weakness - so I feel at times to be comparatively a cold-hearted b*tch.
*shrug*
I guess I'm just frustrated. I love her but I really can't pretend to care anymore and that hurts. We used to be so close, literally. There's 2 people on the planet I've ever let in my 'bubble' (being my real, honest, true self) and she was one of them. But now it's like I don't know her anymore. I see her sometimes and are reminded by a few past occurances that make me all nostalgic but then I just get misreable. I miss her but in a lot of ways I mourn her. I feel used. I don't even feel relieved when she calls now, because my automatic response is 'what do you want?' That's not how friends should be and I get angry at myself for thinking like that. Since she came back to Toowoomba to live I don't know her anymore. I know people change but that sucks. *sigh* I thought we were gonna be best mates forever. Looks like I was wrong.
I'm just venting. I'll do that from time to time. *groan*
Anyway. Woke up early this morning - to teh sound of the smoke alarm going off in my bedroom. It was that hot here at 8:30 am that it set my alarm off. Not the best way to wake up. At least now I know I won't sleep through it, but still... bad way to wake up. Sucked actually. Put me on edge all day. Explains a lot actually.
Feeling a bit lonely at the moment. Got an Xmas card today from my Mum and I miss her terribly. I rue the fact I couldn't be with her for Xmas, I know how much she misses both me and my brother, and the fact we live so far apart hurts her. I love my mum. But again - I'm defensive there too. My mum is an alcoholic. My dad is a recovered alcoholic who now councels at AA. I don't talk to him much at all. He doesn't even know where I live. Absentee fathering at it's best. Anyway the only real family I have is my brother but we weren't raised to be that close, not like normal families should be. I find it hard trusting anyone, especially guys, so I live by myself. I'm on LPF all the time again lately. Though I'm not depressed as I was ages ago to the point of dragging a straight razor across my arms to get a little relief, I still feel despondent. Xmas didn't help this year. I want one person to help me feel connected to the human race and I really don't have that. I'm not suicidal by any means, I've learnt to manage my emotions better now after therapy and so forth, but still... It's like living your life in some giant vaccuum. There's light at the end of the tunnel but it never gets any closer. It's a real drag.
I feel so... bleh... right now. Apathetic to the max.
Anyway. Didn't want to bring anyone down, and really all's okay, just... needed to offload a bit. Thanks for being my virtual sounding board. Without this place, and LP of course, I know for a fact I wouldn't be here now. So... much love to y'all, even those of you who've just decided that I'm a weirdo.
Pfft. Like that wasn't common knowledge already. If anyone I really knew in the real world ever saw half the stuff I dribble on with here I reckon I'd be committed as quick as anything.
I am a ranter here and that's far more amusing than my real life vocation. Now, if y'all don't mind... time to get back to work... *smirk*
Take care and talk again later. Outties peeps.
<3 - Rav
Real post henceforth;
(but remember, you asked for it, by the end of my usual ranting session I bet you'll be begging to go back to Rob, chocolate and... other unmentionables... *laughs*)
Okay. Well, another day over. A new one's just begun. About to get sued for plagerising John Lennon's lyrics if I'm not careful, but at least it's still the appropriate time of year for such a song, right? Yeahhh.
I was talking to Jammer today. *groan* *** help me, I feel like I'm losing the plot when it comes to talking to that girl. Ever just wanna choke someone and embrace them at the same time? She's my friend but everytime I see her lately I just wanna simultaneously hurt and help her. A weird predicament to be in really. She's having man troubles again (when isn't she?) and to be honest, living the carefree celibate lifestyle I lead, I don't much care for the way she rubs her sexual exploits in my face. If she wants to behave like a feral alley cat on heat, go right ahead. Only issue is, besides the fact I constantly worry about the respercussions to her (she'll get hurt, and she's bound to eventually), is that the people we both know are coming to me at work with stories that paint her in a not-so-flattering light. I almost start feeling embarrassed at times, and it's not like I can share such concerns with her. She's way too sensative and she cries at the drop of a hat. I say that with a degree of hostility because I was raised in an environment that discouraged crying and saw it as a sign of weakness - so I feel at times to be comparatively a cold-hearted b*tch.
*shrug*
I guess I'm just frustrated. I love her but I really can't pretend to care anymore and that hurts. We used to be so close, literally. There's 2 people on the planet I've ever let in my 'bubble' (being my real, honest, true self) and she was one of them. But now it's like I don't know her anymore. I see her sometimes and are reminded by a few past occurances that make me all nostalgic but then I just get misreable. I miss her but in a lot of ways I mourn her. I feel used. I don't even feel relieved when she calls now, because my automatic response is 'what do you want?' That's not how friends should be and I get angry at myself for thinking like that. Since she came back to Toowoomba to live I don't know her anymore. I know people change but that sucks. *sigh* I thought we were gonna be best mates forever. Looks like I was wrong.
I'm just venting. I'll do that from time to time. *groan*
Anyway. Woke up early this morning - to teh sound of the smoke alarm going off in my bedroom. It was that hot here at 8:30 am that it set my alarm off. Not the best way to wake up. At least now I know I won't sleep through it, but still... bad way to wake up. Sucked actually. Put me on edge all day. Explains a lot actually.
Feeling a bit lonely at the moment. Got an Xmas card today from my Mum and I miss her terribly. I rue the fact I couldn't be with her for Xmas, I know how much she misses both me and my brother, and the fact we live so far apart hurts her. I love my mum. But again - I'm defensive there too. My mum is an alcoholic. My dad is a recovered alcoholic who now councels at AA. I don't talk to him much at all. He doesn't even know where I live. Absentee fathering at it's best. Anyway the only real family I have is my brother but we weren't raised to be that close, not like normal families should be. I find it hard trusting anyone, especially guys, so I live by myself. I'm on LPF all the time again lately. Though I'm not depressed as I was ages ago to the point of dragging a straight razor across my arms to get a little relief, I still feel despondent. Xmas didn't help this year. I want one person to help me feel connected to the human race and I really don't have that. I'm not suicidal by any means, I've learnt to manage my emotions better now after therapy and so forth, but still... It's like living your life in some giant vaccuum. There's light at the end of the tunnel but it never gets any closer. It's a real drag.
I feel so... bleh... right now. Apathetic to the max.
Anyway. Didn't want to bring anyone down, and really all's okay, just... needed to offload a bit. Thanks for being my virtual sounding board. Without this place, and LP of course, I know for a fact I wouldn't be here now. So... much love to y'all, even those of you who've just decided that I'm a weirdo.
Pfft. Like that wasn't common knowledge already. If anyone I really knew in the real world ever saw half the stuff I dribble on with here I reckon I'd be committed as quick as anything.
I am a ranter here and that's far more amusing than my real life vocation. Now, if y'all don't mind... time to get back to work... *smirk*
Take care and talk again later. Outties peeps.
<3 - Rav
Pheonix791989
New member
dont worry about them, you got me, woody and fribby. we're all here for ya. dont forget that I'm always here if anything. I feel bad for you. suddenly my crappy life dosent seem so crappy. You sound to have it more worse off then I do, I mean I only get to see my brothers once or twice a year if I'm lucky but yours takes the cake. lots of big rob hugs for ya
phi
phi
woodyloveslinkin
New member
well im 16..let mum do the maths...
Pheonix791989
New member
im 16 too. so i guess we're twins w00t
woodyloveslinkin
New member
OH YEAH ! i have a twin.
*changes sig*
*changes sig*
Pheonix791989
New member
lol we are a team. XD (BTW i needed u in the insane thread when we were trying to make over fribby)
Ravynlee
New member
No, I'll adopt you! *aww* Can never have too many virtual children I feel... Plus makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That may be a by-product of drinking too much Pepsi Max and eating too many Rice Crackers, but *meh* I'd like to think it's something more special than that.
So you wanna be my child too?
If that's a yes (I'm not sadistic ALL the time... only... well, yeah, I am, sorry about that) - But I now have 3 kids. Twins. *oi* And my only son. Awww. Wait, how old are you again? Christ... you're all around the same age... *double oi*
And to Phi - Thanks. Naw, my life don't suck, it's better now than it used to be. I was just blowing off steam is all... I do that from time to time. But thanks for listening. Means a great deal sometimes knowing that maybe one person cares what you have to say... even if it is reallllly longwinded and rather trite at times... oops. But thanks. *tackle hugs*
Better stop doing that or someone's gonna get hurt. Ahh, it's all good. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... *laughs* Geez I AM sadistic aren't I? *giggles like a dizzy schoolgirl*
Anyway. Thanks. Much <3 to all.
So you wanna be my child too?
If that's a yes (I'm not sadistic ALL the time... only... well, yeah, I am, sorry about that) - But I now have 3 kids. Twins. *oi* And my only son. Awww. Wait, how old are you again? Christ... you're all around the same age... *double oi*
And to Phi - Thanks. Naw, my life don't suck, it's better now than it used to be. I was just blowing off steam is all... I do that from time to time. But thanks for listening. Means a great deal sometimes knowing that maybe one person cares what you have to say... even if it is reallllly longwinded and rather trite at times... oops. But thanks. *tackle hugs*
Better stop doing that or someone's gonna get hurt. Ahh, it's all good. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... *laughs* Geez I AM sadistic aren't I? *giggles like a dizzy schoolgirl*
Anyway. Thanks. Much <3 to all.
Rusu_luvs_LP_4ever
New member
I hate that movie! Argh, what kind of sick **** thinks about making a movie on a pregnant man? Ewww!
Pheonix791989
New member
lol I wont hurt you now fribby, (at least not if ur gonna be my brother thats wrong ) but hey its all good. dont worry rav, I always have an ear to lend you.
phi
ps its all fun and games till some1 gets hurt, then its hilarious XD
phi
ps its all fun and games till some1 gets hurt, then its hilarious XD
Ravynlee
New member
Good to see you think like me. Adopted my sense of humour, always a good thing. Watching someone get hurt (not major seriously, but you know, enough to make your eyes water) then it's amusing. If it happens to me and I hear you laugh, watch out. I go feral. *laughs*
But yeah, good times... *sigh* Man, it's quiet tonight, 'eh?
But yeah, good times... *sigh* Man, it's quiet tonight, 'eh?
Pheonix791989
New member
well i cant talk to u on AIM cuz ur not on. I personally feel that this dysfunctional family needs their own game thread. that would be intresting.
Friðbjörn
New member
hey I warship Pepsi Max lolNo, I'll adopt you! *aww* Can never have too many virtual children I feel... Plus makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That may be a by-product of drinking too much Pepsi Max and eating too many Rice Crackers, but *meh* I'd like to think it's something more special than that.
So you wanna be my child too?
If that's a yes (I'm not sadistic ALL the time... only... well, yeah, I am, sorry about that) - But I now have 3 kids. Twins. *oi* And my only son. Awww. Wait, how old are you again? Christ... you're all around the same age... *double oi*
but okay, yeah I wanna
I'm a year older than them two here