Roxy's Journal

Does my Journal Bore you ?

  • *falls asleep*

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Too much to read

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    13

Roxy

New member
Cleaning of the appartment....

It figures.

I knew id have to help my mom when she goes in for surgery on her feet, but ****.

My grandfather is coming up for a whole week. Hes a perv so i dont like this. But yea it doesnt mater to her.

She NEVER cleans her room, but she wants it clean for my granfather. Yet she doesnt want to clean it. So shes laying a huge guilt trip about how she doesnt have time to do it, yet she wants to do it she sighs then she says "well, i guess ill just have to do it on my lunch then" and says just tell her how much i will charge her to do her laundry and she will pay me.

But her tone of voice is horrible. then she asked me to watch my niece and nephew all next week because she wont be able to do it and my sister has to work at night time. Thats ****, because i have no choice,if i say no i will be told thats not right i need to help my mom (actually my sister) out during this time, and they're my niece and nephew so i should be happy to watch them and blah blah blah. So if i get called in to work i will have to say no, because i have to watch the kids. I get two days of work a week, so giving up a day would be so hard.

Oh ya but of course Roxy doesnt matter, She can just magically do everything that no one else can do.

So now i have to clean my moms room, do her laundry and watch the kids. Yea she said she will pay me for this but i DOUBT it will be more the $10. If you seen her room you would know why i dont want to clean it. She literally cleans it once a year. Its horrible.

I just busted my *** scrubbing the kitchen, the counters cabinet tops EVERYTHING. Why ? Because she wont. She doesnt clean AT ALL. and i cannot live in such a mess. If i didnt clean we would have bugs ROACHES, like we had when i was little, before i learned to clean. Im so scarred from that, anytime i see one roach anywhere i freak out and have to change my clothes because when i was little they used to crawl on me and be in my hair and ears. It was horrible and is horrible to think of, i get that crawling feeling, and i need to change my clothes.

That house we used to live in when i was little was horrible, it was infested with roaches, rats, head lice, and every other rodent / bug you can think of, at one point i had hepatatis A (the one that goes away) Because the house was so filthy. My mom was strung out on drugs, there were random needles laying around we had no money half the time we didnt have water or electricity. We had a washer that put wholes in your clothes, because of this we rarely used it and we had a mountain of dirty clothes in this one room, the pile had animal fecies in it, and bugs ... oh my ***. I cant say anymore... im grossed out thinking of it.

I stress so much, over cleaning this house, i am the only one who does it, if i dont no one else will and we will go back to how we used to live. and i dont want that.

 
wow...sounds like u had another rough day :( wish i could help, i only live like...45 minutes from where u live if u live in SF. but good luck with all that. and u shouldnt have to do all that by urself...now that's not right.
 

LSUTiger

New member
Can you flick the "brightness" button over a few clicks on that avatar pic? All I can see is just a slight shading of your left bewb, and Id like to see the whole thing. Ill even let you throw your face in there if you'd like.
 

Roxy

New member
Its 1:48 pm on wensday night / thursday morning... My mom is leaving until sunday, she is watching my niece and nephew while my sister works at night, and uses the car. She goes there after work and goes to wokr in the morning after she gets up.

Friday my bro in law watches them and My mom is going to go to bakersfield for the weekend. She will be back on sunday night with my grandfather.

So i was alone the whole day. I went to my therapist appointment at 4, around 5 i went to starbucks with theresa and got home around 6 30 / 7 ish. I checked the mail - my mom got a child support check. So i get $15. Woopdedoo.

I got home and i washed aload of whites, i had to bleach my favorite (and only) White shirt. So i can go to the starbucks hiring event tomorrow. Hopefully i get a better job.

Im going to fill out the application now. I just finished cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom and my room.

My mom wants me to wash some of the towels. and her laundry as well as clean her rooom. But someone has to clean the living room. I dont want to. and mariana said she isnt coming home -since my grandfather will be here and all. She is dumb. She needs to get a ******* job. She is coming and going as she pleases, and doesnt pay rent, and truth be told im glad we can be here to help but im getting tired of her, and her bullshit drama and lies about nothing.

Marcelo will stay thenight at my house tomorrow, and probably the whole weekend. Only thing is i am on my period so like this sucks royally, but at least i will get some much needed affection. Lets hope my mom doesnt come home like... before work, and find him in my bed. Though if she does i will just be like "You said he could stay the night" ... She did say he had to sleep on the couch or the air matress... but i dont care.

We've had *** many times in my own bed, i even had *** (with someone else) in HER bed, so like whatever. If she sees him sleeping in my bed she knows we didnt do anything because well, this week i cant do..... much.

anywho. I miss marcelo a LOT. I just wanna Kiss him.

I sent him an e mail and told him this :

I think of you when i hear guns and roses.

I think of you when i drink coffee.

I think of you when i see newspapers

I think of you when i pass by Di Napoli's

I think of you when i see anyone working construction

I think of you when i sleep.

I think of you when i wake up.

I think of you when i see our picture together.

... And a lot more... but yea ... :) I am happy now, i seen my therapist andi feel a lot better, i told dude about how im having a really tough time not hurting myself. Its been almost a year (september) since i cut. So i really dont want to start again. Its just so hard sometimes, and so tempting.

Today i got some cd's from theresa, she burned me all the System of a down cd's minus toxicity she will get me that soon. And she burnedthe mesmerize one, i already bought it though. and she burned the puddle of mudd cd and the nickelback cd so im fairley happy, i listened tothe whole puddle of mudd cd already as well as nickel back and one system of a down one.

Okay well its 2 am and guess i should sleep.

 

stupidsoul1

New member
I absolutely adore system of a down =)

I am glad you feel better now

you had *** in her bed 0__O lmao

congrats on the cds, there arent many things better than music =)

 

Roxy

New member
Yea i listened to every cd by now. Theyre all great, i love them, i wish i could see them live.
 

Roxy

New member
I went to the starbucks hiring event which is basically a starbucks job fair, you bring a resume and application and they interview you.

My interview went GREAT. I knew they were opening a new store in south san francisco, but i didnt know where, apparentley its on GRAND AVE AND LINDEN AVE !!! Literally less then half a mile (about 3 blocks) from my house.

which also happens to be right next to my current waitress job. They had asked if i will quit my job if i work there, i said id prefer to keep it but if it prevents me from getting the job i have no problem quitting. They said that theyre flexiable so id be able to work both, which is great because i could finish at 4 there and start at 4 10 at Di Napoli's. which is not even a block away.

For the desired pay i put $7.00 + The lady was like "Well we start at $8.25 + tips, would that be a problem ?" Im like.... "uh.. .no!" lol. They also have full benifits for 20 + hour workers.

I answered the questions REALLY good and everything seems so great. Im going to call my references and tell them they should get a call soon.

Im hoping everything goes good and i get this. Pray for me.

 

Roxy

New member
So Marcelos Ex GF "Em" Calls him a lot, right. I guess he still owes her $300 so he doesnt want to not talk to her because then she will accuse him of never paying him back. but she also calls him because she still likes him, and is very upset that he left her for me. She knows he gives me a ride home on sudnay nights.

She calls every sunday night around 11. and we have faught the last two sundays over it. He thinks she only calls then so we can fight. She left him voicemails .. he checked them in from of me cuz i made him. she left him 5.... he let me hear one. one that said for him to wake up cuz he has to work. he didnt delete any and i have the code to his voicemail...

I want to check them.. and see what she said and why i couldnt hear... but its not right or fair so i havent if he found out he would be so mad and never trust me. yet its so tempting. what should i do ? he told me today he will try and ask his boss forthe $300 he owes him and then give it to her and tell her to leave him alone and stop calling. but if i let ot go whos to say it wont happen again ?

and i HAVE let it go its just NOW im actually saying something and aksing him to not talk to her. all she wants is to be with him. but he doesnt want to be with her. and she has a bf, whom he thinks she doesnt like. for the past month. i have ignored her calls i havent said anything. now i decided i am his GirlFriend i have the right to request that he respects me and stops talking to her.

though he says he doesnt want to be with her. Im a jealous one, it drives me insane that they live in the same city (an hour + Away) and she calls him a lot. Hes ignored at least one of my calls becuse he was talking to her. this is a fact, probably more. I Dont know. but i have no one to talk to... any girl i know would tell me to check the voice mail she would tell me that i am right. no. I cant. its not fair. he doesnt know i know the passcode to his voice mail so if i did give in to the temptation and he found out, he would be so angry at me.

Then we wouldnt be as close as we are now, and he wouldnt ever trust me again.

What should i do ?

 
Top Bottom