Single Mother ain't no badge of honor.

[hugo]

Illegitimacy a "Badge of Honor"?
By Larry Elder

A few years ago, I visited a friend living in Cleveland's inner city.

As we sat on my friend's porch, not one, but two teenage girls -- visibly pregnant -- walked by. My friend cheerfully called out their names. They smiled and waved back as they continued walking. I turned to my friend and said, "You see that?"

She said, "See what?"

I said, "That."

She said, "What?"

I said, "Those two girls, they're both pregnant."

She says, "Yeah."

I said, "What about that?"

Pointing to houses, she said, "What about the one over here, the one over there and the one down there?"

I said, "So, this is acceptable?"

She said, "I didn't say it was acceptable -- it just is."

Fantasia Barrino, winner of the recent "American Idol" contest and a single-parent mom, dropped out of school in ninth grade, got pregnant and gave birth at age 17. Fantasia, in a recently released CD, calls single-parent motherhood "a badge of honor." In "Baby Mama," Fantasia sings, "It's about time we had our own song. Don't know what took so long." While the song does talk about the struggles single parents face -- "I see you get that support check in the mail, Ya open and you're like, 'What the hell.' You say, 'This ain't even half of daycare.' Sayin' to yourself, 'This here ain't fair.' To all my girls who don't get no help. Who gotta do everything by yourself. . . ." -- she nevertheless refers to single parenting as, "Cuz now-a-days it like a badge of honor." A badge of honor?

According to The World Almanac 2005 -- which now lists illegitimate birth rates under the politically correct heading "Nonmarital Childbearing" -- nearly 70 percent of black children are born outside of wedlock. With Latinos, the rate is almost 45 percent, whites nearly 30 percent, and Asians 15 percent. Overall, about 34 percent of America's children today are born outside of wedlock.

According to the Heritage Foundation, children born outside of wedlock were more likely to engage in early sexual activity and have children out of wedlock. The report further stated, "Compared to children living with both biological parents in similar socioeconomic circumstances, children of never-married mothers exhibit 68 percent more antisocial behavior, 24 percent more headstrong behavior, 33 percent more hyperactive behavior, 78 percent more peer conflict, and 53 percent more dependency. Overall, children of never-married mothers have behavioral problems that score nearly three times higher than children raised in comparable intact families."

About her life before hitting it big in "American Idol," Fantasia said, "I wasn't working. I wasn't doing anything, and Zion [her daughter] wasn't in daycare. . . . I had my own little apartment [presumably at taxpayers' expense] and I would do her hair all day, watch movies. . . . We would play dress-up. We had nothing to do." Her baby's father, Brandel Shouse, was arrested and pled guilty for assaulting Fantasia. (They are said to be on cordial terms, now.)
A badge of honor? Tell that to Coach A.

Coach Ted Anderson worked as the basketball coach for the Memphis, Tenn., Hamilton High Wildcats for over 20 years. Memphis, until recently, allowed corporal punishment, one of the few big-city districts that still permitted the practice. Coach Anderson, who, himself, attended Hamilton High -- where he received the occasional paddling -- earned a reputation as a basketball coach for being hardworking, fearsome, and who would, from time to time, administer the correctional swat.

Anderson said he swatted kids for tardiness, unruliness, disrespectful behavior, poor grades and -- twice in his career -- for poor play. Unfortunately for Coach A., at a tournament during halftime, he swatted three players for poor play, one parent complained and despite no other complaint in his 20-year career as Hamilton's basketball coach, the school board fired him as coach and transferred him to teach a middle school class.

During Coach Anderson's career, single moms brought their children to him precisely because they wanted their sons to see a strong male figure, a presence frequently absent from the kids' lives.

One of Anderson's former student athletes told me that he credits Anderson with his success in life and in business. Several other former students rallied to his support in urging the district to reconsider.

Many studies show that the best predictor of violent crime in a community is not the race or economic status, but the proportion of households without fathers. Most juvenile and adult offenders come from homes without fathers.

In his book "My Father's Face," James Robison wrote about a chaplain in a federal penitentiary who decided to improve morale. He persuaded a greeting card company to supply him with Mother's Day cards for the inmates. The prisoners enthusiastically sent each mom a card. Morale improved so dramatically that the chaplain decided to repeat the success on Father's Day. The chaplain offered the cards to the inmates. But not one inmate sent a card to his father. Not one.

A badge of honor?

 

[angie]

I guess you missed the boat on this one:
http://Off Topic Forum.com/showthread.php?t=66244&highlight=single+mothers

 

[hugo]

I guess you missed the boat on this one:
http://Off Topic Forum.com/showthread.php?t=66244&highlight=single+mothers

Sadly, that whole thread consisted almost entirely of personal rubbish stories and little on the socioeconomic effects of the bastardization of America.

 

[angie]

Sadly, that whole thread consisted almost entirely of personal rubbish stories and little on the socioeconomic effects of the bastardization of America.

Fair enough. You do have a point there.

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

Sadly, that whole thread consisted almost entirely of personal rubbish stories and little on the socioeconomic effects of the bastardization of America.

Oh...**** you and the horse you rode in on...

*******...right, because they don't have a piece of paper we in a Western Society call a marriage certificate?

What rubbish.

The real essence of importance is the one of teaching our males to take responsibility for their offspring, not call people names because they or their parents decided not to have a marriage certificate.

You are a fool and an asshole. Lick my hairy balls.

 

[Outlaw2747]

You are a fool and an asshole. Lick my hairy balls.

ROTFLMFAO!!!

 

[hugo]

Oh...**** you and the horse you rode in on...

*******...right, because they don't have a piece of paper we in a Western Society call a marriage certificate?

What rubbish.

The real essence of importance is the one of teaching our males to take responsibility for their offspring, not call people names because they or their parents decided not to have a marriage certificate.

You are a fool and an asshole. Lick my hairy balls.

Ain't got much to do with apiece of paper. Most prisoners have no father figure, legal or otherwise, to speak of. Parenting is one tough job that works best with two people doing it. The crime rates of children of single parent homes speaks for itself.

 

[hugo]

From:

THE ROOT CAUSES OF CRIME

by David MacRae

Yet for all this talk about the root causes of crime, there is one factor which overwhelms all of the others: fatherlessness. The link between fatherlessness and crime is so strong

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

From:

THE ROOT CAUSES OF CRIME

by David MacRae



Single mothers are not a good thing.

You are a fool and an asshole. Lick my hairy balls.

Oh, I was mistaken. My apologies.

BULLSHIT! That should be LICK MY HAIRY BALLS, AND THEN SUCK ON MY ASSHOLE FOR GOOD MEASURE.

Are you really this dumb?

Just who is David MacRae? Hmm.

"David MacRae is a software consultant who works out of his home in St. Laurent, Quebec" www.quebecoislibre.org

I just wasted a bit of time trying to track down the so called statistics in your posts by this fool. I couldn't find ONE. Nope, not one.

Perhaps you have hyperlinks to support this trash although I doubt it.

Go slap yourself twice for being so stupid.

 

[hugo]

Oh, I was mistaken. My apologies.

BULLSHIT! That should be LICK MY HAIRY BALLS, AND THEN SUCK ON MY ASSHOLE FOR GOOD MEASURE.

Are you really this dumb?

Just who is David MacRae? Hmm.

"David MacRae is a software consultant who works out of his home in St. Laurent, Quebec" www.quebecoislibre.org

I just wasted a bit of time trying to track down the so called statistics in your posts by this fool. I couldn't find ONE. Nope, not one.

Perhaps you have hyperlinks to support this trash although I doubt it.

Go slap yourself twice for being so stupid.

Clearly one internal organ that ain't working properly is your brain.

 

[hugo]

More info for those capable of processing information.

The Secret Is Out
By Larry Elder
FrontPageMagazine.com | January 26, 2001

NOW WE KNOW. Rev. Jesse Jackson's admission that he fathered a child out of wedlock helps to answer the big question. Why does the so-called black leadership fail to fight the No. 1 problem facing the black community: children having children?
In his statement acknowledging an extra-marital affair resulting in the birth of a daughter, Jackson said, "I was born of these circumstances, and I know the importance of growing up in a nurturing, supportive and protected environment. So I am determined to give my daughter and her mother the privacy they both deserve."

Jackson also said he provides "emotional and financial support" to the mother and their daughter.

Flashback to 1970. Sociology 101: My college freshman class read a highly controversial book by Daniel Patrick Moynihan, later the Democratic senator for the state of New York. His book, The Negro Family: A Case for National Action, made an argument many considered racist -- that the rising number of black children born outside of wedlock threatens the stability of the black community. The nearly all-liberal, predominantly white class went bonkers. They taunted Moynihan, calling him "Racist," "Eurocentric," "Patriarchal," as well as one who subscribes to "middle-class values."

But now we know. Since Lyndon Johnson's so-called War on Poverty, government taxpayers "invested" trillions of dollars, much of it designed to "alleviate poverty." The result? In the last 30 years, the black poverty rate stagnated, while the percentage of black children born outside of wedlock exploded from 25 percent to nearly 70 percent. What, no marches, no picketing, no sit-ins?

The absence of a father in the home increases the odds of a child going on welfare, dropping out of school, getting involved in crime, or becoming a teen parent. Did Rev. Jackson's situation, and his possible concern about the revelation of his out-of-wedlock child, cause him to pull his punches on this disturbing phenomenon?
Certainly we place Jackson -- as an adult with resources -- in a different category than a teenager impregnating another teenager, after which the male often abandons his spiritual, emotional and financial obligations. The president of the NAACP, Kweisi Mfume, fathered five children out of wedlock. Like Jackson, he says that he supported and remained involved in the children's lives. But because of his past, does Mfume, like Jackson, spend more time pursuing the Great White Bigot at the expense of far more pressing issues of personal responsibility?

In 1911, Booker T. Washington said, "There is (a) class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs -- partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs ... " And, "There is a certain class of race problem-solvers who don't want the patient to get well, because as long as the disease holds out they have not only an easy means of making a living, but also an easy medium through which to make themselves prominent before the public." Hm-mm.

Rev. Jackson frequently complains about the income and net worth gap between blacks and whites. But the employment rate for married black men approaches parity with that of married white men. And, for welfare recipients, the quickest and easiest route out of poverty remains marriage. Men who father children and then take a hike create the moral equivalent of a drive-by shooting. Jackson, Mfume, and other "black leaders" could and should lead the charge. But they don't.

Think tanks like the Heritage Foundation, as well as many government studies, reach the same conclusion: dads matter. Black columnist Jonetta Rose Barras wrote, "At 13, my older sister was pregnant and unmarried. I followed in her footsteps, becoming pregnant at 17, continuing a series of bad choices. My older brother had already begun his walk down his own crooked road, getting arrested by the time he was 16 on a half-dozen occasions for petty crimes. We were linked by fatherlessness. None of us knew it then, but the loss of our father through divorce ravaged our lives. It took two decades to discover fatherlessness was at the core of my vandalized childhood and resulting adult dysfunction."

Reconciling Jackson's behavior with his wife is Jackson's business, for he is an adult who acknowledges his paternity and who possesses resources for the child's welfare. But what about the inner-city 15-year-old who gets pregnant by a 19-year-old "inseminator"? It may be hard for a Jesse Jackson or a Kweisi Mfume to say children cannot assume adult responsibilities. But they must. That they don't, well, one can only ask why ...

The connection between fatherlessness and crime is so clear that only a total moron (such as CES) cannot see it.

 

[skategreen]

Oh...**** you and the horse you rode in on...

*******...right, because they don't have a piece of paper we in a Western Society call a marriage certificate?

What rubbish.

The real essence of importance is the one of teaching our males to take responsibility for their offspring, not call people names because they or their parents decided not to have a marriage certificate.

You are a fool and an asshole. Lick my hairy balls.

Gawd I love you.

 

[scout]

You can post all the stats you want and quote all the "those who know" you want, it's all bull. Through divorce I raised my daughter from age 2 on by myself and did a damn fine job with a daughter to be proud of. Through all these years I witnessed the same of other single parent families. I also witnessed the opposite in both single and 2 parent families. It's not the quantity of parents, it's the quality.

 

[tiredofwhiners]

You can post all the stats you want and quote all the "those who know" you want, it's all bull. Through divorce I raised my daughter from age 2 on by myself and did a damn fine job with a daughter to be proud of. Through all these years I witnessed the same of other single parent families. I also witnessed the opposite in both single and 2 parent families. It's not the quantity of parents, it's the quality.

My parents were divorced when i was 5, my father lived in another state so i saw him in the summers. I've had my share of mischief, but never been in jail or convected of any crimes. I think i turned out pretty well, worked part time till i graduated then full time ever since. Have a family, own a house. I wouldn't wish parents or kids to have to grow up that way, but in some cases both are better off. Almost anyone can have kids, but it takes someone special to be a parent.

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

You can post all the stats you want and quote all the "those who know" you want, it's all bull. Through divorce I raised my daughter from age 2 on by myself and did a damn fine job with a daughter to be proud of. Through all these years I witnessed the same of other single parent families. I also witnessed the opposite in both single and 2 parent families. It's not the quantity of parents, it's the quality.

BRAVO!!!

Hugo, you're still wrong on this and you're still an asshole.

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

Gawd I love you.

Ditto my dear, ditto!

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

Clearly one internal organ that ain't working properly is your brain.

Poor Hugo...

I'll wager the logical self-thought and cognitive evaluation skills of just my Frontal Lobe against your combined Frontal, Parietal, Occipital, and Temporal lobes, anyday of the week and twice on Sunday.

Care to have a friendly debate? My personal thoughts versus your googled crap?

Back to your initial garbage; you still haven't given any credible source for any of this. All of the cited references in the original article, were either completely fabricated or unverifiable.

What a crock of ****. You should smack yourself hard, twice, for such Neanderthal thinking.

Tell me something, were you waving your redletter Bible in the air with one hand when you typed out that crap with the other hand?

 

[builder]

While there is a grain of truth in the unsupported posts that Hugo-a-gogo has pasted here, the missing link is the effect on children of spouses who choose to stay together, despite their being no love left in their relationship.

Violence and spite in relationships has a more far-reaching negative effect on the developing psyche of children than the momentary trauma of separation, particularly when the non-custodial parent continues and maintains contact with their children, without the angst and back-stabbing that ended the relationship in the first place. While this amicable plateau can take years to achieve in some breakups, the fact that the non-custodial parent maintains contact and demonstrates love for their children is enough to overcome the trauma of separation.

My own son tried for almost a decade to get me and his mum back together. He now appreciates why it never happened. He also knows that I love him unconditionally, and now that he is in his teens, my support is more important to him now than ever before.

Will he become a criminal because he hasn't lived with me full-time? No.

 

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

While there is a grain of truth in the unsupported posts that Hugo-a-gogo has pasted here, the missing link is the effect on children of spouses who choose to stay together, despite their being no love left in their relationship.

Violence and spite in relationships has a more far-reaching negative effect on the developing psyche of children than the momentary trauma of separation, particularly when the non-custodial parent continues and maintains contact with their children, without the angst and back-stabbing that ended the relationship in the first place. While this amicable plateau can take years to achieve in some breakups, the fact that the non-custodial parent maintains contact and demonstrates love for their children is enough to overcome the trauma of separation.

My own son tried for almost a decade to get me and his mum back together. He now appreciates why it never happened. He also knows that I love him unconditionally, and now that he is in his teens, my support is more important to him now than ever before.

Will he become a criminal because he hasn't lived with me full-time? No.

< 10 >

Enough said...

 

[angie]

I read an interesting article pertaining to just this earlier this week. .
http://www.nbc30.com/family/5526693/detail.html
(See that? A LINK)

Events Before Divorce May Harm Kids More
Research Finds Split Sometimes Eases Problems
The most harm to a child's mental health takes place in the years before parents split up, according to a University of Alberta study.
That suggests staying together for the sake of the kids is not always the right choice, researchers said in a news release.
"Levels of child antisocial behavior actually drop following parental divorce for kids living in highly dysfunctional families," author Lisa Strohschein said.
Rather than comparing children whose parents have divorced with those whose haven't, Strohschein looked at divorce as a process. This approach allows researchers to separate effects on child mental health that are actually due to divorce and not due to other family characteristics, the release said.
In the research, kids whose parents eventually divorced displayed higher levels of anxiety/depression and antisocial behavior than kids whose parents stayed married.
Parents who divorce tend to report higher levels of family dysfunction and depression, and lower levels of marital satisfaction.
"Once these family characteristics were taken into account, differences in mental health at the initial interview between children whose parents divorced and children whose parents remained married can no longer be detected," said Strohschein. "This suggests that troubled families are at risk for both divorce and child mental health problems, and calls into question the assumption that it is the divorce event that is necessarily damaging to child mental health."