Foxx's Poetry Corner
- Thread starter Greyfoxx
- Start date
MrsBennington-Delson
New member
ok lol thanxotay, good, now that i'm sure u dont hate me, i'll make it perfect!!!
Ravynlee
New member
I know its been a while but just wanted to stop in and see what you been up to creatively...
Jeezy's request thing, cool. Very confronting though. Thats the point right? Each line is like a short sharp blow, if it were lyrically translated into physical gestures I'd liken them to jabs/short sharp quick punches. Its like a lyrical parlay, but then I have to say Fox that rather is your style isn't it? You dont overcrowd your sentences, you dont allow them to overflow, they are sharp and to the point. Very direct. Thats why I say confrontational even when the subject matter isn't. Anyway I liked it. Will be interesting to see what you come up with for Jos. Best of luck
~Rav
Jeezy's request thing, cool. Very confronting though. Thats the point right? Each line is like a short sharp blow, if it were lyrically translated into physical gestures I'd liken them to jabs/short sharp quick punches. Its like a lyrical parlay, but then I have to say Fox that rather is your style isn't it? You dont overcrowd your sentences, you dont allow them to overflow, they are sharp and to the point. Very direct. Thats why I say confrontational even when the subject matter isn't. Anyway I liked it. Will be interesting to see what you come up with for Jos. Best of luck
~Rav
Greyfoxx
New member
thankies mummy! I'm glad you posted!!!! I never noticed it till you said something, but i guess that is my style isn't it? Never crossed my mind. ^_^ But, i'm glad ya liked it nevertheless. Keep popping in here to see what i come up with next!!!I know its been a while but just wanted to stop in and see what you been up to creatively... Jeezy's request thing, cool. Very confronting though. Thats the point right? Each line is like a short sharp blow, if it were lyrically translated into physical gestures I'd liken them to jabs/short sharp quick punches. Its like a lyrical parlay, but then I have to say Fox that rather is your style isn't it? You dont overcrowd your sentences, you dont allow them to overflow, they are sharp and to the point. Very direct. Thats why I say confrontational even when the subject matter isn't. Anyway I liked it. Will be interesting to see what you come up with for Jos. Best of luck
~Rav
~~Foxxy Lady~~
Greyfoxx
New member
Breathe In
Intro
Breathing so slowly
You never meant to go this way
I will not let you go
I will force you to breathe
Breathing so slowly
You never meant to go this way
I will not let you go
I will force you to breathe
Chorus
Breathe for me
Breathe to see the light
Breathe for me
Breathe and give a good fight
Breathe for me
Breathe to see the light
Breathe for me
Breathe and give a good fight
Verse One
You lay down before me
Your breaths are so shallow
Please Believe that
You will make it
All you have to do
Is breathe the dark away
And soon
You will fly
You lay down before me
Your breaths are so shallow
Please Believe that
You will make it
All you have to do
Is breathe the dark away
And soon
You will fly
Chorus
Verse Two
Let go of the darkness
Breathe in the light
Let the light flow into
Your soul
Never again fear the night
Breathing strong now
Feeling your chest fill
With the fresh air
Let go of the darkness
Breathe in the light
Let the light flow into
Your soul
Never again fear the night
Breathing strong now
Feeling your chest fill
With the fresh air
Chorus
Outro
Finally you see
How good it is
To Breathe…
Breathe for me…
Breathe for yourself…
Finally you see
How good it is
To Breathe…
Breathe for me…
Breathe for yourself…
MrsBennington-Delson
New member
omg!!! this is so awesome and touching!! grey you're the best!!
Ravynlee
New member
It is an awesome song - I'm wondering to what music style that would go... hmmm...
But aside from that very visual, thats the first thing that caught me. That and the fact from like the second stanza or sth I went 'this sounds familiar to me' and I dont mean I've read it before, I meant the theme, it sounds like a familiar theme - I was thinkin Anne Rice, maybe I was wrong, but its def what I was seeing in my mind as I read the words...
Anyway, I take back what I said before, your previous post (song) was way more abrupt than this one, this one flowed it was almost... enticing, the exact opposite really - which means you Foxxy have the unique ability to blend styles to fit the theme. Everyone likes to think they can do it but you actually can and for that you must be commended. If I had read this and the last one and not known they were by the same person i wouldn't have guessed they were by the same person so there ya go - awesome work. I'd def like to hear this one set to a tune too... explore the whole world not just this one facet of it. Very intriguing
~Rav
But aside from that very visual, thats the first thing that caught me. That and the fact from like the second stanza or sth I went 'this sounds familiar to me' and I dont mean I've read it before, I meant the theme, it sounds like a familiar theme - I was thinkin Anne Rice, maybe I was wrong, but its def what I was seeing in my mind as I read the words...
Anyway, I take back what I said before, your previous post (song) was way more abrupt than this one, this one flowed it was almost... enticing, the exact opposite really - which means you Foxxy have the unique ability to blend styles to fit the theme. Everyone likes to think they can do it but you actually can and for that you must be commended. If I had read this and the last one and not known they were by the same person i wouldn't have guessed they were by the same person so there ya go - awesome work. I'd def like to hear this one set to a tune too... explore the whole world not just this one facet of it. Very intriguing
~Rav
Greyfoxx
New member
Soldiers coming from near and far
Working together to make a difference
Their efforts made clear
For the world to see
And yet we are still in
A land of confusion
People hating the government
Speaking ill of our leaders
Yet they do nothing to change the times
And to change their own ways
But they still criticize those in charge
Blaming them for their problems
Instead of stepping up
And taking responsibility
Working together to make a difference
Their efforts made clear
For the world to see
And yet we are still in
A land of confusion
People hating the government
Speaking ill of our leaders
Yet they do nothing to change the times
And to change their own ways
But they still criticize those in charge
Blaming them for their problems
Instead of stepping up
And taking responsibility
When I see all this hate
All this mistreatment
I begin to wonder why
I even try to do good for others
When the Good that I do
Is just overlooked
And the Bad and the evil is on the news
Yet they don’t recognize the few good people
So I wonder now,
How we can ever get better?
If we always focus on the negative.
Trying my best
Yet I can’t feel it in me
To try so hard to do good
And have it shoved aside
Like a piece of road kill
All this mistreatment
I begin to wonder why
I even try to do good for others
When the Good that I do
Is just overlooked
And the Bad and the evil is on the news
Yet they don’t recognize the few good people
So I wonder now,
How we can ever get better?
If we always focus on the negative.
Trying my best
Yet I can’t feel it in me
To try so hard to do good
And have it shoved aside
Like a piece of road kill
All these facts
All these truths
Begin to make me feel
That our once great world
Will never be the same
And its’ going to ruin itself
And we will never have the good
That we once had
So why? I ask
Why do they do these things?
Why do they insist on being evil?
When it’s so easy to be good!
Turning your backs against your own nations
Instead of helping the poor out
Instead of lending a helping hand
Or giving to a good cause
You spend your money on drugs and war
So tell me the sense in this
And I’ll show you
A land of confusion
All these truths
Begin to make me feel
That our once great world
Will never be the same
And its’ going to ruin itself
And we will never have the good
That we once had
So why? I ask
Why do they do these things?
Why do they insist on being evil?
When it’s so easy to be good!
Turning your backs against your own nations
Instead of helping the poor out
Instead of lending a helping hand
Or giving to a good cause
You spend your money on drugs and war
So tell me the sense in this
And I’ll show you
A land of confusion